Cocaine, pot, and cowboys.
In her very own bedroom, Clair is asking Cliff to borrow some of his clothes. She is going to a pottery class and she doesn't want to get clay on her own clothes. This leads to an argument, because Cliff doesn't think it is fair that she can wear his clothes, but he can't wear hers without being thought of as a weirdo. She also calls him fat and then tries to make out with him. Cliff has his feelings too hurt from the fat crack and doesn't want to make out, but he makes it clear that he would be way into getting otherwise sexy. He is shot down.
Since Clair doesn't want to get at all sexy (except for making out, but we all know that that is just that unfun stuff that you have to put up with to get to the good part), Cliff brings a new topic at hand: where is the gross anchovy paste? He is making some pâté and needs something disgusting to smear onto it.
Cliff is making all of these gross foods because some other doctor is coming over to discuss what they are going to do for this year's hospital fundraiser. Clair REALLY wants them to do the same thing that they did last year, which was everybody just got to take turns throwing water balloons at Cliff. Eventually, the evening just devolved into Cliff sobbing in the corner while people dumped buckets of water on him. He admitted to doing several things that he had not done.
We move on to a little later. Cliff is making some food, but he has to take a cute break, because Rudy comes in to see what he is making. He explains that he is making all sorts of gross things that have to do with livers and brains and worms.
After Rudy is sufficiently and adorably grossed out, Vanessa comes into the kitchen looking for a blue folder containing all of her secret plans and codes. Rudy offers her assistance in doing this. Cliff thinks that this is a really good idea, because Rudy is a super genius. A super CUTE genius! See what I did there?
Those two go off and Cliff wanders into the living room for some reason. Almost as though on cue, Theo and Cockroach come in wearing sunglasses at night time.
|"We can't stay long. We are on our way to a House Party and a House Party 2."|
The doorbell rings and Cliff answers it. In walks a man that is cooler than doing homework: some doctor that Cliff works with. I think his name is Boring Dan.
Cliff lays down the law right away: he doesn't care how much of the USA's security is at stake: he refuses to get buckets of water poured onto his body. Boring Dan plays it cool. He is a walking dichotomy.
Boring Dan notices the full and masculine mustaches that Cockroach and Theo are sporting. The two talk about how each of there's is way better than the other's and who's is bigger.
After the raucous mustache talk dies down, Boring Dan teases Theo a little by asking where he will go to college. Theo gets his hopes up a little, but we all know that it will be a miracle if that kid even graduates high school.
Then Theo and Cockroach leave to feast upon the gross foods that Cliff has prepared and Cliff and Boring Dan get down to business. What are they going to do for a hospital fundraiser that is not waterboarding Cliff?
Boring Dan informs him that they will probably have to do that again, since it was the most profitable, but they don't get much of a chance to fight about it, because Claire and Denise come home just then from their pottery class and Cliff and Dan have to act all civil in front of the ladies. The 1980s were a different time and chivalry and civility in front of women was commonplace. Not like today. Just the other day, me and a couple of my buddies sat around watching the Bulls game in our underwear. When they won, we start beating the crud out of each other right in front of our wives and children.
So, Clair and Denise come home and Denise starts asking about somebody named Cindy. Boring Dan says she is fine.
Denise wasn't really interested anyway, because she wants to talk about how good she is at pottery and how bad Clair is at it. Much to everyone's amusement, Clair made this:
|Cliff decides to touch it.|
After they are done making fun of Clair, she goes to make some tea and Cliff follows them. Boring Dan is left behind alone and he just starts crying. Presumably because he is lonely. Cliff comes back and finds Boring Dan looking all sad and wants to know what the problem is. Dan and Cliff go to Cliff's office for some more privacy to talk about Boring Dan's boring problems.
Dan goes into a story about how his daughter Cindy has a large cocaine problem and has been going in and out of rehab and it is tearing their family apart. It is a very sad story. Dan ends the story by asking Cliff what he did to make his children turn out so great.
Cliff doesn't have a good answer to that question. He says that it sounds like Dan and his wife are doing their best with their daughter and sometimes that's all you can do. It just seems like Cindy isn't responding to anything. Cliff actually doesn't seem to offer much assurance past that. He basically says "Well, I hope things work out for you. I don't have much to say beyond that." And then they go to talk about the fundraiser again.
Later on, after Dan has left, Cliff and Clair are sitting in the living room. Theo and Cockroach come in to show them a rapular song that they wrote for speech class. They perform this song, a song in which they compare themselves to burgers, while wearing their sunglasses and looking totally cool. Cliff shoots down the rap song and tells them to start over like it's his homework assignment, or something.
We move on even further into the day. Denise is putting flowers into the pot she made at pottery class and Clair is pretending like the pot she made is cool too. Cliff comes into the kitchen so that he can join Denise in making fun of Clair's pot. That'll show Clair for showing an interest in a hobby and for trying something new.
After Clair makes the decision to never try to do anything new or try to expand her boundaries, Vanessa comes in with her boring subplot. She still needs those secret codes from that blue folder, but the suspense that I have been feeling about it all episode is finally resolved: it was in the freezer, of course.
Then Theo and Cockroach decide to rap some songs some more. It is terrible. The end.
WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE
One thing that I've notice throughout this series, and it happens again in this episode, is that somebody (usually Cliff) will make fun of or embarrass somebody else (usually one of the kids and mostly Theo), but instead of getting their feelings hurt, this person would just laugh and shrug it off. I know when I was 13, if my father treated me the way Cliff treats Theo, I would've sulked and been pissed off even more than I was. I don't think I am way off base by suggesting that many teenage boys would be. What is it about this show that is making me relive my adolescence? Probably a combination of nostalgia from it being such a huge part of my adolescence, and watching an adolescent Theo do his thing and me trying to relate to him from the experiences I had at his age and realizing I would've reacted much differently than he does. But...wouldn't everybody have?
Oh, also, Theo and Cockroaches TWO raps were VERY weird and they also talk about burgers again. What is their obsession with burgers? And their continues obsession with their own mustaches leaves me perplexed.
Again, no Cosby Sweater. I am afraid that this section of The Blogsby Show might get boring if we don't get a higher frequency of Cosby Sweaters. Especially if Denise has stopped wearing her crazy outfits.
Oh, hey, guess what. Denise is wearing crazy outfits again:
|"If my pottery doesn't do it, I'll find SOME way to get attention..."|
That scene with Dan talking about his daughter being on drugs was HEARTBREAKING. That poor man. I hope we get a follow up on him, because I can't be left hanging like that.
Friday: The love of my life returns.