Friday, April 29, 2011

Season 2, Episode 14

Vanessa's Bad Grade (Season 2, Episode 14)
     This episode revolves around a sweater.

This time we see Rudy sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and a straw. She begins to blow bubbles into the milk. Before she can get anything run really going, Clair busts in and puts an end to it. Blowing bubbles in your milk is forbidden in this household.

Determined not to be beaten, Rudy sucks up a little milk into the straw and blows it out into her cereal bowl. She then picks up the bowl and starts pouring the contents down her gullet. Clair will not stand for this either and just takes away Rudy's breakfast and rushes her off.

Cliff comes into the kitchen and he and Clair discuss how late he was out delivering babies. Cliff is having problems getting any sleep, if you can believe that. The two of them were supposed to go to a movie that night, but they postpone until Friday so Cliff can get some rest. I don't know how long they have lived in this household, but I have watched 40ish episodes of them living there, and I've learned that that is not going to happen. When will they learn?

Now Vanessa comes into the kitchen. She asks her mother if they can go get a new sweater, because Robert (Vanessa's boyfriend) has seen her in all the ones that she has. You know who does need a new sweater? Cliff! Am I right?

It turns out that Robert and Vanessa are going to go to a dance and Vanessa wants a sweater just like Denise's sweater. Clair points out that since Denise has this sweater already, why not just ask her to borrow that one? I would point out that if Denise were going to wear it, it's probably horrible, gaudy, or outrageous and Vanessa probably shouldn't want to wear it anyway.

Vanessa rushes off to ask Denise to borrow the sweater. Cliff remarks to Clair that there is no way that Denise will agree to this and the two of them make a bet: if Cliff wins he gets to eat popcorn at the movie. It is on.

The very second that they shake hands on this bet, Denise and Vanessa burst into the kitchen arguing about the sweater. Denise refuses to lend it out. Cliff has won again. Denise hasn't even worn this sweater for herself and would like a chance to wear it before Vanessa does. I guess that seems reasonable.

We move on later into the day. It is after school and Vanessa and Robert are in the kitchen "studying" the way young teenagers in puppy love do. They are making oogly eyes and holding hands and all of that.

Theo bursts in and interrupts them. Then in comes Denise. Denise informs everybody in the kitchen that they should not go into the living room. She offhandedly remarks that she just woke up Cliff from a nap and he is really cranky. I totally called that one.

Denise picks up the phone and Vanessa asks her to not talk on the phone here, because they are studying. This seems reasonable too. Can't Denise go upstairs? They just argue about it and also argue about that sweater again.

The next day, Claire comes home and asks Cliff how he is feeling. He is full of energy and ready to see that movie. He rubs in the winning of his bet to her.

We don't get to see much of this, though, because we move on to Vanessa in her bedroom. She is asking Theo for advice. She got a 'D' on her history test and is very worried about her parents' reaction. She asks for his advice on how to deal with them, because he has had a lot of experience in this area. He isn't much help, but he does confirm that she should be worried about their parents' reaction. Vanessa decides to not tell her parents right away, because she is worried that they won't let her go to the dance if they find out.

We move on even later to that night. Vanessa is picking out an outfit and asking for Rudy's advice on what to wear. Rudy thinks everything is fabulous. She then snoops around Vanessa's desk and finds her test with a 'D' on it and just totally busts her balls on it.

Vanessa is more wrapped up in picking out a sweater and decides to go ask Denise again for that sweater. She finds Denise's bedroom empty and goes inside, presumably to steal the sweater.

We move on even later into the evening. Vanessa and Robert get home from the dance. They talk about what a good time they had and are about to kiss, but Denise bursts downstairs to call her out on stealing the sweater. Robert goes to the kitchen while the two argue about it. Denise is super pissed about this and tells Vanessa she wants that sweater back immediately.

Meanwhile, Clair and Cliff arrive home from the movie. It turns out that Cliff fell asleep during the movie. He describes what he saw of the movie and it sounds very boring. I guess there was a cafe and a bicycle and I would've fallen asleep too. In fact, the two of them talk about this movie for so long that I almost fall asleep myself. It just goes on and on.

We finally get back to the two girls arguing. Vanessa comes into Denise's room to inform her that she will not be taking the sweater off until Denise apologizes for poking Vanessa in the shoulder. Denise refuses. So now we have a physical confrontation on our hands. They are shoving and pulling hair and being very loud.

"I don't care how frumpy I look, I'm not taking off your sweater!"
Cliff and Clair burst in to stop the fight. After some hilarious struggling, during which Cliff is inadvertently and hilariously tossed around himself, Clair finally gets them separated.

After sorting out the ordeal, both girls are punished for fighting and/or stealing.

Denise goes to her closet to put the sweater away and Cliff discovers a bunch of his clothes and Clair's clothes in her closet. These clothes have all been taken without permission, which seems pretty hypocritical. They point that out to her and tell her to return all of those clothes.

Clair leaves, but is not finished with Vanessa. Her and Vanessa go into Vanessa's bedroom. Cliff joins them for a discussion about just what the heck has been Vanessa's deal lately? Boys, basically.

Cliff and Clair are on their way from leaving, when Vanessa decides to just dig herself into a deeper hole by showing them her 'D.' They are understandably upset and take Vanessa into the kitchen to have a talk with Robert and Vanessa. This has got to be an exhausting night for Cliff and Clair. Lecture after lecture after lecture.

Basically, they come to the conclusion that Vanessa and Robert are not good at studying together. They need to prove that they are able to study together productively, or else they won't be able to at all. That seems a little too lenient to me, but whatever.

They all go into the living room to discover Rudy on the couch watching TV. For some reason, Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech is on. Everybody just stops what they are doing and watches it. Vanessa and Denise silently make up as his message of togetherness gets through to them. Either that or he has caused them to realize the futility and insignificance of their little problem in the face of the problems that he faced.

Or...you know what, I am not really sure what the exact message here is or why they decided to shoehorn this speech into the end of this episode. It seems a little out of place and weird that it's here, but it is a touching moment, it is believable that is makes the family react in the way that they do, and it doesn't seem right for me to try to make light of this moment in The Cosby Show, so that's as much commentary that I am going to offer.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Why is blowing bubbles in your milk so bad? Is it even hurting anything at all? No. Also, if you don't want your children to blow bubbles in their milk, don't give them a straw. It seems like if you give them a straw with milk, you already know what's going to happen. Do parents pour their children milk and give them a straw just for the thrill of denying them the simple and harmless act of blowing bubbles that will inevitably follow? Hey...that does sound pretty fun. I'm going to try that when my daughter gets home from school.


SWEATER SIGHTING

Theo has really been stepping up his sweater game lately.
Goodness! Theo is giving Cliff a run for his money in the sweater department lately, but lookey what we have here:

"I don't understand why this sweater isn't all shiny with leather sleeves!"
Sweater Count: 14

WRAP UP

Is it just me or is Rudy the cutest? I mean...look at this:

Rudy, don't blow bubbles. My doctor told me to avoid things that are 100% ADORABLE.
Monday: Theo and Cockroach study Shakespeare. Cliff gets in a hilarious snowball fight.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Season 2, Episode 13

The Auction (Season 2, Episode 13)
     Maybe Elvin should bid on some chipmunks! Am I right?

As we begin, we see a close up of an ugly looking cake being frosted. After what seems like 10 boring minutes of just looking at this cake be covered with brown colored gross frosting, we pan out to see that the person frosting the cake is: Elvin? What the hey? Isn't he supposed to be at Princeton?

Denise comes down the stairs and talks to Sondra and Elvin about how they aren't at Princeton, but how Elvin is becoming a more sensitive man. He is baking and really trying to change his sexist views.

Rudy comes downstairs and informs Sondra she "accidentally" spilled nail polish inside of Sondra's suitcase. So Sondra and Rudy rush off.

After they are gone, Cliff comes in and talks to Elvin about this cake baking business. Elvin admits that he baked a cake just to try to get Clair to like him. This whole "being more sensitive" business is just a plan. Oh, good. I'm glad Elvin isn't really trying to change. He even says things like: "You know how women are!" and "They just start talking without thinking!"

Cliff seems unconcerned with Elvin's problems. He knows that his wife will make short work of Elvin eventually and he just wants to eat some of this cake. He spends an excruciating amount of time trying to cut the cake. It is apparently very dense and heavy.

Cliff's first act is to scoop off some of that gross looking brown frosting. Then he pops some cake in his mouth and spits it out. He tells Elvin to not give Clair any of that cake. It is horrible.

Clair calls Cliff into the living room. She shows him a book from an auction. There is a painting being auctioned off that was painted by her Great Uncle, Ellis Wilson. She remembers it from her childhood and wants to get it. It is estimated to auction off at $7000-$9000.

Elvin, who just doesn't know when to quit, comes in and talks to them about this painting. Apparently Ellis Wilson was a pretty famous painter (Elvin has heard of him). Elvin then pushes his foot way up into his mouth by saying it is so nice that Cliff is buying Clair a painting. Clair says she is buying the painting herself. Elvin wants to make sure she has Cliff's permission. Elvin! She is a partner at a high-end Manhattan law firm!  She has disposable income of her own and probably lots. Ok. This guy is sexist AND just plain stupid. Clair explains this to Elvin. She is very stern with him.

Elvin just said, not two minutes ago, that he knows Clair doesn't like him and he wants to fix that. How has he not figured out that he shouldn't be saying these things to her? And, also, what is Sondra's deal that she is dating this a-hole?

After Clair storms off, Cliff says that he will show Elvin how to cook dinner tomorrow to try to impress Clair. They go into the kitchen and Cliff shows Elvin how he is a big phony when it comes to cooking. Apparently, he just goes and buys food and heats it up. He explains that he just boils water and puts on a big show for everybody.

We move on to the next day. Elvin comes home from shopping and buying all of his phony ingredients that Cliff told him to get. They discuss all of it and then Clair comes downstairs to leave for the auction. Elvin says some very nice and poignant things about buying a piece of Clair's family history, and, score one for Elvin!

We move on to the auction. The entire family goes to the painting and Clair confirms that this is the one from her childhood. They all remark that nobody else is looking at the painting, so it is probably good and there will probably not be many bidders for it. Cliff and Elvin disagree and Cliff says they will need to do some snooping around to see if anybody is talking about it. He devises a complex covert information gathering plan, makes up a secret code for the family to use when they find anything out, and dispatches them all.

Theo goes to talk with a pretty girl about his age. They flirt a little and Theo just abandons his plan to walk around with this girl.

Back at Ellis Wilson's painting, Cliff finds somebody looking at it. He approaches the man to figure out his interest in the painting. The man indicated that $7000-$9000 might be a low estimate. Uh-oh. Clair might have a fight on her hands.

We move to the actual auction. They are about to start bidding on a different painting. When Cliff sees it, he decides he wants to buy this one for his waiting room and gets in a bidding war with somebody. It was supposed to go for about $700, but the bidding approaches $1000. As this woman keeps outbidding Cliff, Rudy very adorably gets up and yells at the lady. Then she starts bidding herself! I am unclear if this is a three way bidding war or if she has taken over for her father. The bidding goes all the way up to $2000 and Clair makes Cliff stop bidding. The other woman gets the painting.

Since this painting was estimated at $700 and went for $2000, Cliff is afraid that the Ellis Wilson painting will go for much, much more.

Wouldn't you know it, that is the painting that is coming up next. The bidding begins. Theo's new girlfriend's father is in the bidding. Was she distracting Theo on purpose? A sort of counter-intelligence? Counter intelligence is all Theo has! ZING! The lady that just beat Cliff is also bidding on this.  Eventually, Clair gets the painting for $11000 and everybody cheers.

When they get home from the auction, Cliff hangs the painting up. Then that girl Theo flirted with calls on the telephone and his sisters keep bugging him about it.

Clair goes into the kitchen to find Elvin cooking up his "secret sauce." She uses this as an opportunity to call him out on just cooking some pre-prepared food.


WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

That painting, it turns out, was really by an artist named Ellis Wilson. Let me Google Image it.

Ok, I'm back:

"Funeral Procession" by Ellis Wilson
It's kind of weird that they are just saying that the fictional Clair is the niece of an actual artist.

SWEATER SIGHTING


Well, that's an OK Cosby Sweater, I guess. It is kind of boring, but it totally counts as a Cosby Sweater. I just hope that the next sweater that we see (whenever that will be) is better.


WHAT THE HECK? That is AWESOME! It's all shiny! What is up with those sleeves? Are they leather? Is that a Cosby Sweater with leather sleeves? Best thing ever! I love it!

Sweater Count: 12 & 13!

WRAP UP

The painting is here! Two sweaters! This show is starting to move into its golden age. I can feel it.

Friday, Vanessa gets a bad grade

Monday, April 25, 2011

Season 2, Episode 12

Mrs. Westlake (Season 2, Episode 12)
     Mrs. Westlake + Me = <3

Episode 12 is one that starts with something that we haven't seen for awhile. Cliff is trying to take a nap, but is being disturbed. The constant struggle of not being able to sleep continues for Cliff and this time it is his youngest daughter who is sitting on his stomach and reading a book about cats out loud.

Years of dealing with children almost as adorable as she is has desensitized him to her cuteness and his heart only hardens as mine melts when she asks the proper pronunciation of a word in the book. The word was "yarn," but the word in my heart is "precious." If I could wrap Rudy up into a little gift package, I would. With a bow right on top. And then when Cliff Huxtable was about to take a nap, I would be all: "Oh, wait. Before you got to sleep, this will only take a minute, I got you a gift. Go ahead and open it." And out will pop Rudy and she will start reading a book and his nap will be ruined by the most lovable inconvenience of them all: his youngest child.

Back in the actual episode that I am watching, Cliff tries to sleep. Yet again, Rudy asks how to pronounce a word in the book. This time the word is "basket." I'm assuming that Cliff is actually helping her with these words and not just making stuff up to toy with her. But who really knows?

Ok, for a third time Cliff goes in for a nap. But he is nap blocked yet again by Rudy! She needs to know how to pronounce yet a third word! The third time was the funniest, I'd have to say. Cliff disagrees. He seems a bit fed up and decides that he will just take the book away and shoo her off.

So, now Rudy goes and it looks like Cliff is finally going to be able to get that nap. He shuts his eyes and begins to snooze when, oh, hey, guess what, somebody comes in and disturbs him This guy just can't get a nap. This time it is Theo coming home from basketball practice. He just starts talking about a remedial math test that he took earlier and how hard it was and how hard his teacher, Mrs. Westlake, is.

Their conversation is interrupted, like so many naps, by the telephone. Theo answers and find on the other end, his very mean and uptight remedial math teacher Mrs. Westlake! She is demanding to talk to Cliff.

Cliff has seemingly given up all hope on taking that nap and takes the telephone. But he is pretty excited to talk to somebody who seems as interested in tormenting one of his children that he is. Much to Theo's dismay he invites her over for dinner.

This should be a pretty interesting dinner with both Cliff and Mrs. Westlake teaming up to torment the Cosby Kids. I can't wait to see what they have in store.

After arguing with his father a bit about Mrs. Westlake coming over, Theo is told to go get ready for dinner. He goes up stairs and beckons Denise to follow him into his room. She does. Theo explains to her that he is very unexcited that Mrs. Westlake is coming over and they theorize on why. The theory is that she wants to discuss the math test with them. Hey, guys, while your theorizing, why not use some of the energy to theorize why there are two beds in this room? That second bed is right behind you!

Theo considers breaking his own arm to get out of this dinner. He is also concerned about what his friends will think if they find out she was over. That is social poison.

We move on to later that evening. Cliff is putting out some hors d'oeuvres (fancy French appetizers) for his guests. Theo barges down the stairs and yells at him! He says that these fancy French appetizers will only cause Mrs. Westlake and her husband to stay longer. I'm not so sure. It just looks like carrots and broccoli and cauliflower. If I saw that plate, it'd make me leave sooner! Whatever happened to just putting out a bowl of candy and having fun with your guest by denying your children any of it?

Theo then starts fussing over how things look in the house, because Mrs. Westlake is very particular about how things are. He explains how intensely neat and orderly she is and describes her as always having her hair in a tight bun and her glasses on the tip of her nose. I've had old biddies of math teachers like this. 60 year old ladies that are cranky and mean. I can just picture her now

The doorbell rings and Cliff answers it. In walks the most beautiful, charming, and exotic woman in the world. Cliff is just as stunned as I am that this radiant woman, with no glasses and her hair down, is Mrs. Westlake. Her and her husband are young and fun and charming! Is Theo off his rocker?


Rawr.
After Clair, Cliff, Theo, Jack Westlake, and the new love of my life have all settled in, we get to learn some more about Mrs. Westlake. She is from Brazil and her accent is making me weak in the knees. When Clair learns that Anna Maria (I've decided I'm on a first name basis with her now (next step: a first BASE basis! YOW!)) is from Brazil, they start speaking in a secret Brazilian code that only pretty ladies know. Cliff gets upset and stops them.

Cliff then begins to talk about how much he loves Brazil too. Jack and Anna Maria talk about how much fun it is to just be free and wild in the streets of Rio. But they won't be able to go back next year. This brings us to the reason that Anna Maria wanted to see Cliff: she's pregnant. She also wants Cliff to be her doctor. Mrs. Westlake will be finishing the school year, but then be taking the next year off to be with her child. Let me do some back peddling here. Mrs. Westlake is not an unattractive woman. She has a little spark of charm, sure, but I am a *cough* *cough* happily married man. I am sorry, ma'am, but if I am getting stuck with a lady that has children, I'll just stick with a lady with MY children. It's just not going to work out, Anna Maria. I agree that Jack isn't as handsome or fun as me, but it is for the best.

Back to the episode, Theo barges into the kitchen and is followed by Cliff. Theo explains that Mrs. Westlake is being very different than how she is at school. Theo is not fooled. He thinks that it is inevitable that she will begin tormenting him and most likely with the grade from his math test. Cliff, of all people, has to be the voice of reason and tell him that she seems fine.

Using a fancy establishing shot of the Huxtable home, we get the sense of a progression of time and cut to all of these people drinking coffee after their meal. Mrs. Westlake reveals a little more about her past. She explains that she met Jack while she was driving a cab and he was her passenger. She also explains that, being an immigrant, she has a sense of hard work and opportunity that comes with having the privilege of being in America. This is a privilege that she will not allow her students to take for granted and that is why she is such a hardass as a teacher.

This opens the window for the tormenting! Cliff and Mrs. Westlake just lay into Theo about how stupid he is and how bad at math he is. It is pretty brutal, but somehow it transitions into Mrs. Westlake explaining her teaching tactics and why she does it how she does and it is all kind of boring.

Jack's beeper goes off, so Mrs. Westlake uses it as an opportunity to pull Theo into the living room. She puts her hair up into a bun and puts on her glasses and gets out his test. He reluctantly looks at it and discovers that he got an 89. I'm not convinced that he did get such a good grade. I think it is more likely that he is so bad at math that he can't read numbers correctly.

Another one of those establishing shot thingies and we progress through time to Theo in his room reading a magazine. Cliff knocks on the door and comes in. He confirms that Theo actually did get an 89. That number is 87 more than the number of beds in the bedroom they are both in right now. Maybe they should talk about that. They don't. Cliff just goes on a long rant about studying and mathematics and airplanes and dessert. It's hard to follow and the episode ends without me wanting to try.


WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

I really dodged a bullet with that Mrs. Westlake thing. I almost got stuck with a pregnant lady! Not only that, but I imagine that when my wife gets home from work and reads this entry, she'll be rather forthcoming because of all of the nice things that I said about her. It's a win-win.

It was also a little weird to see one of those tough teachers that all the students hate be all nice outside of school. It makes me wonder what the teachers from my childhood that were like that acted like when they weren't in school. In my adulthood, I can not imagine any of them having such a jarring juxtaposition as the one we saw in Mrs. Westlake.

SWEATER SIGHTING



That is a close call, but I'm saying that this is not a Cosby Sweater. Maybe if he had buttoned it up, I would reconsider. I am sorry, people, but no.

"Would having your mouth this open be good for kissing? You know. If you're way into it?"

This, however, would have been a totally great Cosby Sweater. I really feel like they miss a lot of opportunities by having other people wear this sweaters, but not having Cliff wear these sweaters.

And I would be missing an opportunity if I didn't mention this Denise outfit:

"I wear hats inside now, ok?"
WRAP UP

It's been while since we've seen many of the things that happened in this episode. Interrupted naps, secret codes, crazy Denise outfits, the two weird beds in Theo's room. I hope we can keep the ball rolling on several of these things, but only time will tell.


Wednesday: Clair buys a painting at an auction.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Season 2, Episode 11

Denise's Friend (Season 2, Episode 11)
     A very special episode of The Blogsby Show

In her and Cliff's bedroom, Clair is rifling through some box full of tissue paper. She is comparing and contrasting her favorite and least favorite kinds of the tissue paper when Cliff barges in and declares that he is going to go visit his good friend Tony Orlando at the community center.

Cliff's curiosity is peaked by this box of tissue paper that Clair is going through so he asks what the heck is up with it. Clair says something like "Do you remember that time that I broke my toe and we went out to dinner to celebrate the night you proposed to me?" Yes, Clair. We all remember that time. It was the previous episode of the television show that we are watching.

Well, anyway. Clair is reminiscing about the sweater that she was wearing the night that Cliff proposed. What is it with this television show and sweaters and outfits? It is like they are obsessed with them! Clair pulls out her sweater from that night and she and Cliff get in a big argument, because Cliff can't remember what color of clothes that they were wearing and all of that. She takes him to task and when he can't remember the exact wording that he used when he proposed, like, 20 years ago, she puts him in a headlock!

Denise comes in and doesn't even blink at the sight of her mother beating up her father. She just asks to talk with Cliff as soon as his butt is thoroughly kicked.

After what seems like 10 boring minutes of Clair quizzing Cliff about that night, we mercifully cut to the living room where we see Denise waiting for her father. Instead of Cliff, Denise (and all of us) gets a treat, because Rudy comes downstairs instead. She demands to know what Denise wants to talk about, but Denise just flat out refuses and Rudy storms out of the front door in a cloud of adorable fury. I'd be watching my back for the next few days if I were Denise.

Down the stairs comes Cliff and Denise sits him down for a talk. She explains that she has a "friend" that has a "physical problem" and is too embarrassed to talk to her parents about it or see the family doctor. Denise's "friend" knows that Cliff is a doctor and wants to see him. Cliff agrees.

I think we all know that this "friend" is actually Denise and that she is pregnant.

At the community center, Cliff is wrapping up his class when he is approached by a girl about Denise's age. She explains that she is the friend Denise told him about and that she is definitely not pregnant. Cliff takes her back to his office for an examination, but seems a little perplexed that she does not feel comfortable enough to talk to her parents about her problem.

After the exam, Cliff talks to Clair. We find out that Denise's friend had a mild bladder infection, but the bigger issue is that they think it is weird she waited four weeks to even talk to anybody about this. This gets the two of them wondering if their kids hide anything from them like that. They decide that if the kids have any really big problems, they would probably tell the parents about it.

Cliff isn't satisfied with this, though, and calls a family meeting. Everybody gathers in the living  room and, oh look, even Sondra is there. I am thinking that they probably brought her in from Princeton just for this meeting.

The meeting quickly takes a turn and the whole family just starts talking about what Theo would do if he found out he were pregnant. Cliff promises that he wouldn't be mad about this. He'd probably be more amazed.

Cliff is trying his best to convince the family that he would not get angry in these situations, but we all know that he totally would. They keep throwing out scenarios at him and Clair and Clair keeps getting upset and Cliff keeps playing it cool and is all "Whatever, man! Vanessa can date a 17 year old! I'll have him over to smoke cigarettes with us!"

What was supposed to be a serious family discussion about what to do with your problems has now turned into a hilarious game of "What Would You Do?"

Denise takes this time to admit that a few weeks ago, when she was supposed to be sleeping over at her friend Janet's house, she was at Tommy Watkins' house while his parents were on vacation. Clair just flies off the handle! Denise quickly uses this game as a way to escape the situation by just saying that it was all part of the game and it didn't really happen.

After the discussion is over, Cliff pulls Theo aside. It seems as though Theo's scenario during the discussion, which was about taking Cliff's care without permission, lighted up a memory bulb for Cliff. He brings up a time where he noticed the car had been moved and he wants to know if Theo actually took the car. Theo explains that he did not drive the car, he simply pushed it out of the way because it was blocking somebody.

Later that night, Clair is back in the bedroom admiring her tissue paper collection. She wants to start that fight up with Cliff again. Cliff very admirably steers the direction of the conversation away from a fight and gets all nostalgic with her instead. They start talking about a time when they were teenagers and didn't go to a picnic their parents thought they were at, but they went and necked instead.



Cliff just picks up the phone, calls Claire's mom, and tells her about this. Clair realizes it is what is happening and chases Cliff around again to beat him up some more.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

This girl was all scared about a bladder infection? I wonder what it is about a bladder infection that would make you afraid to talk to you parents about it. Hold on. Let me WebMD it.

Ok, burning when you pee and stuff like that. I suppose that, as a teenager, if I got some of these symptoms, I would for some reason think that I somehow got an STD. I might tell my parents, though, so they could call up Ripley's Believe It Or Not.


SWEATER SIGHING

"Clair! Come here for a kiss!"
Ooooh. That's a pretty good one. It'd been awhile since we've had any sweater at all, so maybe my judgement is a little clouded, but this is the greatest sweater of all time! Somebody should use this picture to make a pattern and knit me an exact replica of it.

Sweater Count: 11

WRAP UP

Is it just me, or is Clair a pretty violent wife? There have been multiple instances of her putting him in a headlock or just jumping him like a lion on a gazelle. Maybe I should be having a tally for THAT!

Monday: Theo's mean math teacher comes over for dinner.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Season 2, Episode 10

Clair's Toe (Season 2, Episode 10)
    Who is more glamorous?

 As we approach the midpoint of Season 2, I can't help but noticing that Rudy, Vanessa, and Denise are all in the kitchen. Denise is helping Vanessa study for a spelling exam. Rudy is throwing out random letters in an attempt to confuse her sister. It's sort of like when you are counting something and some jerk-hole comes up and starts going "2! 14! 23!" to mess up your count, only Rudy is doing it with letters. It. Is. The cutest.

Cliff comes down to the kitchen and Vanessa tells him that Rudy won't leave her alone. Rudy counters by just yelling random letters into Cliff's face until he quiets her down by putting slobber on her.

We follow Cliff into the living room. He sits at the couch and turns on the TV. Almost immediately, Clair comes in and starts talking to him about things he doesn't car about. He tries his manly best to not pay attention, but she just takes up the TV remote and shuts the TV off on him!

It turns out that Clair is all excited because the anniversary of the time Cliff proposed marriage to her is approaching. Cliff isn't very excited about this, but when Clair says that she wants to take him out to dinner, he gets way into the idea of free food. He says they should get all hunky and dressed up. This leads to an argument about which of them is going to be better looking that night. My guess is that the very pretty lady will look better than the ugly, old man, but it looks like they're going to drag this out for the entire episode.

They decide that they will have a contest, judged by the children, over who will be "smoother." They lay down some boring ground rules and Clair goes on upstairs to try on her new shoes. Cliff rushes after her, because she still has the TV remote. Clair pushes him out of the room and then runs and prances around the room by herself until she bangs her foot on a piece of furniture and breaks her toe.

Later that day, the two of them get home from the emergency room. Cliff is supporting Clair's body up. She has a big cast on her broken toe and refusing to use the cane.

After Clair gets all settled on the couch, Theo comes downstairs and Cliff shows him the X-Rays of Clair's foot. This really hammers the point home with me, the audience, that Clair's toe is broken.

Clair lists off all of the things that she is going to have to do this evening and at work tomorrow. Cliff tells her that he should not be doing any of those things and then shows her how to use the cane. Clair is very independent and refuses to use that cane. She instead decides to hop around on one foot.

Cliff follows her to the bedroom where he finds here looking at the new shoes that she is not going to be able to wear now that her toe is broken. Clair is very concerned with winning the Smooth Contest and says that she will not be using a cane or the hilarious looking sandals that Cliff brought her that he thinks will help for some reason.

Cliff doesn't think he can lose the Smooth Contest if Clair wears one of these.
After Cliff leaves, Cliff's dad knocks on the door and comes in. He has with him a fancy looking cane for her to use. He gives her some long and boring story about the history of the cane and how it was his father's and  it is hand-carved from Kenya. He lays it on thick and I think convinces her to use this cane.

Cliff and Grandpa unwittingly continue to put together Clair's outfit for her.

After Clair leaves and is all proud with her cane, Cliff comes in and talks to Grandpa about the cane. Grandpa tells Cliff that he lied about the origins of the cane and it is really just some cane that he bought in an "African store on Flatbush Avenue."

I know that they are trying to help, but I am not sure that lying to Clair is the answer. Honesty is always the best policy, I think. I hope that this deceit is found out and they get their repercussions.

The time for the Smooth Contest has come. Clair is going to go through with this, I guess, but the first person to present his smoothness to the children is Cliff. He comes down the stairs and is just wearing a suit. It is kind of boring and I am sure that his beautiful wife will out class him.

The days before Urkel. When suspenders were smooth.
Cliff tells the children that his wife and him should each be given several points for their ability to walk. That is a low move, but he has already lied to his wife about that cane, so cheating isn't totally out of character. Way to teach your children a valuable lesson, Cliff.

Next comes down Clair. She is dazzling and beautiful. She's wearing a fancy dress and twirling that cane around just being an all around classy dame.

Now THAT'S how you pose!
Her foot is covered with a brown paper bag and Cliff yells about how ugly it is, so Clair takes it off to reveal her decorated foot! She's wearing one of those sandals from earlier and it is all bedazzled.

I know some crafters that would be super jealous of what she did with that sandal.
After Clair is declared the obvious winner that we all knew from the beginning she would be, Denise compliments that cane. This is when Clair looks at it more closely to discover a little "Made in Hong Kong" sticker on it that Grandpa forgot to take off of it. She goes off the rocker and starts hitting him with the cane. Then they leave for dinner.

After they get back from dinner, they talk about how much they had fun weirding everybody out by dancing while still sitting in their chairs.

Cliff then demands an apology from Clair about how she has been behaving. Clair refuses, mostly because he was part of that ruse with the cane earlier and he shouldn't have lied.


WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

You might not believe this, but I am not lying to you when I tell you this. Last night, I stumbled out of bed and walked to the bathroom. On my way through the door, I banged my foot on the door frame and hurt my toe! I hopped around and yelled and now my toenail is all black and I've been limping around all day.

If things are going to start happening to me in real life as they happen to characters on The Cosby Show, I can't wait for when Stevie Wonder hits my car with his limousine.

SWEATER SIGHTING

Rawr.
Oh so good! I wish, I wish, I wish that Bill had been wearing this, so that we could count it toward our tally, but it is just going to go down in history as one of those that we'd wished was a Cosby Sweater. Look at that tiger! I will give somebody a large amount of money if they got me a sweater like that.

WRAP UP

Here's an episode about something that we all already knew: Clair is classy and glamorous and beautiful and Cliff is a toadish, old man.

Tune in on Friday when one of Denise's friends comes to Cliff for medical advise.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Season 2, Episode 9

Clair's Sister (Season 2, Episode 9)
    This is an episode about how horrible marriage is.

Clair is sitting in a restaurant being eyeballed by some dude. He obviously thinks that Clair is pretty hunky or at least interesting looking. Some other lady comes into the place and sits down with Clair and they talk about how these guys think that both of them are hunky ladies. This lady with Clair introduces herself as Clair's sister and then says she is getting married. Sorry, dudes that are eyeballing these ladies. These ladies are taken.

Obviously they didn't get the memo, because these two dudes just come right up and introduce themselves as "Thad" and "Grey." WHAT? I mean, I'm all for giving fine honeys a fake name when you hit on them, but Thad and Grey are some obviously made up names.

Clair shoots them down and tells them how unavailable the both of them are, but says they can stay and talk to them as long as they understand that they have no chance of kissing them. They decline.

Back at The Huxtable household, Cliff is setting up a chess board. Theo comes home with a gigantic bag and Cliff asks him if he got the "record" he wanted. I am unclear on what it is at all that Theo bought, but it can't be very cool, because it only cost $7.88. Cliff wants the change, but Theo tries to weasel out of it. Cliff gets his money, though.

Theo asks why Cliff is setting up the chess board. Cliff explains it is because Clair's dad is coming to play chess. Cliff goes on a big rant about how he wants to beat Clair's dad so badly and then he explains the Kasparov-esque tactics of intimidation that he uses to beat Cliff. Cliff has it in his mind that he will not be going for that junk this time.

In the kitchen, Clair, Clair's sister, Denise, and boring Vanessa are all talking about weddings. Vanessa gives some boring description about how it will be if she can ever trick some dude into marrying her. Denise gives a description of her wedding with a dude that she picks at random after deciding to finally give one of her many suitors the time of day.

After Denise and Vanessa leave for their friends' house, Cliff comes into the kitchen and calls his sister-in-law ugly and talks about how astonished he is that anybody would marry her. This is just like the toast he will give at Vanessa's wedding.

There is a ring at the doorbell. The three of them go together to answer the door and in walk the two most sentimental people in the world. Clair and Sarah's (Clair's sister's name is Sarah. I just caught that.) parents come in. Grandma whisks off to the kitchen with the two ladies to talk about wedding things and Grandpa and Cliff sit down at the chess board.

Later that day, we see Cliff and Grandpa playing chess. Grandpa is obviously beating Cliff pretty badly and is enjoying himself a great deal. But not as much as he is about to enjoy himself, because Rudy comes down stairs and starts to be adorable. She asks her Grandpa to retell a story from his childhood, which just ends with her and him and Cliff all yelling "PEACHES!" at the top of their lungs like a bunch of weirdos.

The ladies in the kitchen over hear this and Sarah wonders out loud if her father is going to sing at her wedding. Grandma says she doesn't know, because he doesn't love her as much as he loves Clair and he totally sang at Clair's wedding.

The conversation moves on to how Sarah is reading a bunch of books about how to have a successful marriage. She reads a passage out of the book and Clair is only interested in yelling at her husband. Clair and Grandma talk about how horrible husbands are and how much they like to hit them with frying pans and rolling pins. They decide to write their very own book about marriage and almost right away decide "there needs to be a chapter about husbands." Clair even goes so far as to suggest there be several chapters about husbands. I guess the rest of the chapters are about having headaches, nagging, passive aggressiveness, and never being able to decide which restaurant to go to dinner to. I think that's the book my wife read.

Back to the chess game. Grandpa is getting all intimidating on Cliff and Cliff is trying his best to not fall for it, but it appears as though he is falling right into it. Just as Cliff is about to make a move, Grandpa tells him that he wants some juice.

Cliff goes to the kitchen for the juice and the ladies are all laughing about husbands and how stupid they are. As soon as Cliff comes in, they freeze up. As soon as Cliff leaves, they burst out again. Cliff comes into the living room and tells Grandpa to try the same thing. The ladies do the same thing.

After Grandpa comes back, the doorbell rings. Cliff answers it and in walks the unluckiest man in the world. Because he is about to marry Sarah and Clair and Grandma are corrupting her. This man's name is Garvin and he looks like his name could be "Thad" or "Grey."

Garvin and Sarah go into the kitchen to tell each other they love one another and kiss. Back in the living room, Grandpa is talking about how happy he is that his daughters ended up with such good men. I am confused as to why Grandpa is not treating his son-in-laws with the disdain and contempt that I was led to believe is usual for such a relationship.

After Garvin and Sarah leave, Clair tells her father he has to sing at Sarah's wedding. Cliff just starts singing like a weirdo. Clair starts singing and then Grandpa starts singing. The episode ends with the three of them just screeching out the same one line of a song over and over.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

"We'll say my name is Thad, because I'm awesome and we'll say your name is Grey, because you are wearing a Grey suit!"
These two dudes have the right idea, but they need to pick more believable names. Whenever I go out and hit on fine honeys, I use the name "Lance." It's still kind of manly, but more believable. (Note: If you are my wife, don't have read that.)

SWEATER SIGHTING

No Cosby Sweater today, but we had this:

"Would this slight pucker be good for kissing? You know. If you're not that into it?"
That would have been a pretty good one, if Bill were wearing it.


WRAP UP

It was nice to see Clair's side of the family for once. I hope we get to see them more often, because I'm getting kind of tired of the other weird Grandpa.

Wednesday: Clair breaks her toe, but is she still more "smooth" than Cliff?

Monday, April 11, 2011

Season 2, Episode 8

Denise Drives (Season 2, Episode 8)
    ...me crazy! <3

 Cliff is in the living room doing Goodness knows what with his addle mind. Theo makes the mistake of running down the stairs, grabbing a magazine, and running back upstairs. Cliff stops him to go on some rant about how the banister is broken and it is his fault. Cliff and Claire love that banister, I guess. Cliff even puts on a wig and does an impression of Claire liking the banister. Theo tries to shut him up by telling him that he will fix the banister, but Cliff is unsure that Theo even knows how to use a hammer and tells him to call that sleezy repair man that I don't trust from Season 2, Episode 2.

Speaking of Claire, her and Denise come in with some big news. Denise got her driver's license. Denise even made up a song and sings it and dances around like a weirdo. After what seems like 10 boring minutes of just watching her jiggle around and go "Yeah, yeahyeahyeahyeah," the buzzer on the phone rings and Cliff announces that he has a patient in his office waiting for him. Denise dances out into the kitchen.

There she finds Theo calling that sketchy repair man. After he gets off the phone, they talk about how Denise wants to get a new car and already found the one that she wants. She even has the money in her savings account. Theo is worried that if Denise messes up, his parents won't let him get a motorcycle. I am already pretty sure that his parents won't be letting him get a motorcycle.

Now Cliff is in his office and he is talking to the two oldest people in the world. He tells them they are pregnant. They are very surprised. What is this? An episode of Maude? Am I right?

Cliff comes upstairs laughing to himself. Claire is reading a book and is wondering what is so funny. Cliff violates doctor/patient confidentiality (to a lawyer, no less) and tells her how hilarious it is that those old people are having a kid.

Denise hears Cliff laughing and decides that since he is in a good mood, it is a good time to ask if she can buy that car. When she tells them her plan, Cliff and Claire are not into it. Cliff very reasonably says that he will go check out the car. Denise says she already made the decision. Claire says that Cliff needs to approve of it. It just keeps going around like that until Denise just goes off on a big Cliff-esque rant about how it is her money and they are in America and she pisses of her parents. Claire just goes off back on her with the fire that we've grown so accustomed to seeing behind her eyes. I'm pretty sure she even threatens to kick Denise out.

After Claire gets her digs in, Cliff starts to get going. He points out how poorly planned Denise's plan is. He doesn't understand how she is going to pay for gas and oil changes and insurance, but takes her to look at the car anyway.

Later that day, they get back and Cliff explains how horrible this car was. It could not start, stop, go in reverse, or anything. As he is explaining how bad the car is, that sketchy repair man comes into the kitchen. He over hears that Denise is looking for a car and tries to sell them his "aunts." He goes so far that I am surprised he doesn't give Cliff the spiel about how his "aunt" only drove it to church every Sunday. Somehow, Cliff gets roped into looking at this car.

Later on, Theo and Rudy are eating some candy and talking about the homework assignment that they both got in the class that they are in together. Claire comes in and tells them to stop eating candy. Theo uses this as an opportunity to start working towards getting the motorcycle he is never going to get.

There is a honk from outside and Theo rushes out to see Denise's new car that they are buying from the sleaze ball repairman. Theo starts working on Cliff to get that motorcycle, but it isn't happening.

Denise takes Claire and Cliff out for a ride. When they get back they make it very clear that Denise is not allowed to have any fun with this car and she has to pay for everything.

The final scene of the episode is Theo trying to get that motorcycle or now a Ferrari. Cliff says that Theo is not getting a Ferrari, but maybe a motorcycle. Theo gets all excited, but then Cliff goes "Psych!" and then beats Theo up.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

When Cliff goes down to see his appointment, there is an assistant down there. She doesn't say anything, she just hands him a chart.

"My diagnosis is that it is weird that you are here."
What the heck? Who is this girl? Does she just sit down there all day while The Huxtables are off doing their crazy car shopping and what nots? I'm imagining a girl just sitting at a desk and flipping through a magazine and waiting for anything to happen down there. I'm happy that there was at least one appointment that day, so that she got to break the monotony of the day up with handing Cliff a chart.


SWEATER SIGHTING

"Seriously. Would this be a good way to kiss?"
Wow! That is the best sweater yet. It is so colorful and patterned. Could we be entering an era of classic Cosby Sweaters?

Also, how many sweaters does Cliff own? By my count now, it is at least 10. Which is a lot.

Sweater Count: 10

WRAP UP

It was nice to not have to see Vanessa in this episode. She just drags the show down. Not only is she like the middle child of the family (although she's not truly the middle one, the dynamic of it is there), but she the middle child of the show. Like. I mean. The audience and writers and producers treat her like a middle  child too.

Wednesday, Claire's sister get married.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Season 2, Episode 7

Rudy Suits Up (Season 2, Episode 7)
    And Barney didn't even have to tell her to.

Claire and her mother are drinking some tea in the kitchen. They are discussing how unbelievable it is that Rudy is so adorable and wants to play football. I guess they think Rudy shouldn't play football, because she is too small. If they could put her heart and determination into the body of one of the other football players, that player would be nearly unstoppable.

Cliff, Denise, and Rudy come home and talk about how much Rudy loves playing football. Denise keeps talking about how great Rudy is at it, but Cliff is holding back. After Rudy leaves, Claire can tell that Cliff really wants to talk about how great Rudy is at football. He says that if they could put her heart and determination into the body of one of the other players, that player would be nearly unstoppable. I guess Rudy reminds Cliff of his football playing days and he gives her the nickname "The Grey Ghost," which used to be his nickname in football.

Cliff goes on his rant about how great she is at football and then walks the fudge out and into the living room. There, he finds Theo and Sondra. After ridiculing Theo about how much better at football his sister is than he is, he starts talking to Theo about how stupid he is and how he will probably never pass his remedial math class.

Sondra, who totally does go to Princeton University and does not just spend all her time at home, uses her Princeton smarts to diagnose her brother with Performance Anxiety. He apparently has problems performing under pressure because he is worried and intimidated. My wife can tell you all about that one! ZING!

Cliff, who is an actual medical doctor, disagrees with this diagnosis and says Theo is just stupid and lazy and needs to study more.

Days later, Theo is giving Rudy some football tips. I wouldn't listen to him, because he is very bad at football. The whole family is there. Even Sondra!

Sondra being there just means more ladies there to swoon, because guess who comes the heck into the house! Peter! He starts running around and pumping everybody up and flexing his muscles and yelling "Are you ready for some football??" Everybody gets way into it and they all rush to the car to go to Rudy's and Peter's football game.

At the football game, Rudy just keeps taking the ball and jooking the other team all over the place. She is great! Unlike some other football playing Rudy we know. In this instance the crowd is all chanting "Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!" not out of pity, but out of adulation! Rudy is adorable AND good at football! It seems like if they put her heart and determination into her body, she would be nearly unstoppable!

After the game, the whole family comes into the house and they are all dancing around and chanting and telling Rudy how great she is. They give her a new nickname: "Sweet Feet." She scored four touchdowns and they are pretty sure she is the best football player of all time and will probably make it to the NFL.

Rudy goes to wash up and she leaves Cliff and Claire alone. Claire takes this opportunity to remind Cliff that he was very, very bad at football. Just like Theo. Cliff gets all mad and pouty and just goes to watch a football game. Claire follows him. She is all interested in football now and is going to watch it with Cliff. She keeps asking questions and annoying him. She also says that Walter Peyton is not as good at football as Rudy. Rudy Huxtable, not Rudy from the movie "Rudy." Everybody is better at football than Rudy from the movie "Rudy."

Denise comes in and joins them and her and Claire keep talking about football and annoying Cliff and he leaves them to watch by themselves.

The next football game comes along. This is against a very tough team, but they are all pretty sure Rudy will be great anyway, but they are wrong. Rudy gets creamed in this football game and the whole family is sad and confused  by how Rudy is bad at football now. It's going to take a lot of work for her to get onto the team at Notre Dame, but I have a feeling that with her heart and determination, she will play in two plays in a game on her Senior year there. If only they could put that heart and determination into the body of one of the other football players. THAT player would be nearly unstoppable!

Later on, we learn that Rudy is discouraged, so Cliff allows her to quit and teaches her a valuable lesson about quitting when things get hard by doing so.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Why is Sondra home all the time? Does she spend any time at Princeton at all? How far away is that school? Like next door? I'll Google Map it.

Ok, I'm back. Here's what I found out:

Here we see Princeton is about 1 hour and 15 minutes from Brooklyn. I'm sure that doesn't account for traffic.


















I guess that doesn't seem that far away, but for a college kid that's got to be a very long way. Wouldn't she rather be spending her weekends with her friends? What a weirdo.

SWEATER SIGHTING

SWEATER FLOOD!

"Can someone show me how to kiss? Is this right?"

We never see this sweater without the jacket, but it counts!

Does the  color of this sweater match the color of the background a little too closely?


WOW. That was a lot of sweaters! I think this was our first multiple Cosby Sweater episode, and we got three! I think that after such a drought, we deserved it, though, right?

Sweater Count: 7, 8, AND 9!

WRAP UP

I did a very good job making this diagram.
This is my favorite thing about a person named Rudy that plays football.

Tomorrow: Denise wants a car.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Season 2, Episode 6

Halloween (Season 2, Episode 6)
    ...in April!

We open on a shot of a scary, deadly spider. Is this episode going to be about how a spider injuries and/or gives special super powers to the family? Before the spider gets to do anything even at all, Cliff comes into the living room carrying a jack o' lantern. Oh. OH! I guess that is a fake spider and they are celebrating Halloween even though this is April. Weirdos.

Cliff is way into his Halloween-in-April jack o' lantern and goes way off on a rant about how much he likes it and thinks that it is scary and good looking and will protect them from that spider. Cliff wasn't as quick as I was at picking up on that that spider is fake and will not injure and/or give special super powers to him and his family.

Claire tells Cliff that the jack o' lantern has to stay in the corner, because Vanessa is having a party and the jack o' lantern will probably scare everybody. Is this going to be an episode about Vanessa? That would be weird and boring.

Rudy comes downstairs and she is wearing a costume. It is the cutest thing that I have ever seen in my entire life. It seems that the entire neighborhood has decided to participate in this crazy notion of having Halloween in April, because there is even going to be trick-or-treating now and Cliff is going to take Rudy out.

Claire and Rudy bug Cliff about what costume he will wear for this. Cliff doesn't think that he should even try to match up to Rudy's costume and thinks he probably won't wear a costume at all, because what is the use of trying? Rudy insists that he wears a costume. She will even make it. She is determined to show how superior she is at costumer wearing.

Cliff doesn't even want to go trick-or-treating now, but Claire yells at him until he agrees to go.

After Cliff reluctantly agrees to this, Vanessa comes downstairs and is all excited about a boy named Robert that will be coming to her Halloween party. Oh, no. This is looking like it will actually be an episode about Vanessa. Weird. And boring.

The time for the party is at hand. There is a ring at the doorbell and Vanessa bolts at it like there is a cute boy on the other side. There's not. In walks the scariest witch in the world. Look out, Huxtables! You're going to get a spell cast on you! Oh, wait. I forgot. It's Halloween. EVEN THOUGH THIS IS APRIL. The Cosby Show, you need to get your times of the year right. Why not do an episode about Spring Cleaning?

So, Vanessa's friend, Janet, comes in and- OH WAIT! I just spotted Peter! Peter is in the house! I guess I should have known by the way all the ladies were all the time swooning. Vanessa's friend is all: "Forget about cool guy Robert. Peter is where it is at!" But Rudy and Cliff come downstairs and take him away. Peter's gone and the party is over. Not even this Robert guy can save this party.

A very boring child book-ended by the two awesomest kids in the world.
Later on, we get to see this un-fun Peter-less party is underway. Vanessa and Janet try to get Peter out of their heads by pretending to be way more into Robert. They concoct some complicated scheme involving secret codes and party punch and if Robert wants some punch or wants to kiss Vanessa or something. I don't know. It's kind of hard to follow.

Meanwhile, Cliff sneaks Rudy and Peter in the backdoor, presumably because he doesn't want Peter to disturb the party with his awesomenss. Cliff starts dividing up the candy. Here's the real party!

At the real party, Janet comes back with a secret code that needs to be decoded. The code reads that Robert thinks Vanessa is cute. Barf. This is like some sixth grade note passing party. Only with complex CIA-caliber codes!

Robert comes up to Vanessa and says "Hello." Vanessa just runs the heck away. She reenters later on and explains that she got too nervous. They encrypt a message to Robert's friend to pass on to Robert that he should hit on Vanessa again.

The message comes back and is kind of muddled, but I think that it is going to finally get this kids together. Oh, my gosh. Robert comes over and asks Vanessa to dance! I can't believe this is happening.

After they start dancing, Theo and Denise come in dressed in costumes and walk through the party to tell Claire that Theo told some guy that Denise is lame and then the guy was a jerk and I don't know. This is the gossipiest episode of all time. I'm all for learning about Denise and her amazing social life, but I'd rather eavesdrop on her phone conversations, thank you.

Back at the party, the song ends and Vanessa and Robert stop dancing. Claire brings in some drinks and hands them to Vanessa. She accidentally drops the entire tray. She gets so embarrassed that she just bolts upstairs.

Claire follows her and tries to make her feel better by telling her that it is not that big of a deal. All of the other kids probably aren't going to make fun of her until they graduate High School. (But they probably will.) Janet comes upstairs and explains that, yes, they are all making fun of her, but it's cool. They all come into her room and turn on some music and start dancing around like weirdos.

Vanessa goes out into the hallway and Robert is there. He macks it up on Vanessa and says that he's going to call her and walk her to school and I guess they are boyfriend and girlfriend now. Finally. Hopefully I don't have to hear about this anymore. They even hold hands.

Downstairs, Cliff is cleaning and Rudy comes downstairs. Claire sends some complicated codes over to Cliff via Rudy and then Cliff sends some back. This is getting tedious. Claire sends her back and I think some things are getting lost in the translation, but they get it together like Robert and Vanessa and dance.


WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE


Big wheel keeps on turning, I think?
It took me three viewings of this episode to stop wondering what this costume is supposed to be and start wondering if it is supposed to be Tina Turner. Is she supposed to be Tina Turner?

Also, is it just me or is it very weird that this is the month of April and that episode was about Halloween? Do the producers of the show not understand what time of year Halloween is at? Wouldn't this be more relevant if it were Autumn as opposed to Spring?  I might have to write a letter to Bill Cosby about how his show should pay closer attention to the date.

SWEATER SIGHTING

"Do you think if I blow into this stem, the pumpkin will get bigger?"
At first glance, I got fooled and thought this was a Cosby Sweater. But it is not. It's been so long, I've honestly forgot what the Sweater Count tally is. I'd go back and re-read my past entries to find out, but I hate reading those things.

WRAP UP

An episode about Vanessa is always boring. And that really was a very  gossipy episode. The whole thing was like an episode of "When Harry Met Sally: The TV Show."

Friday: A person named Rudy plays football.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Season 2, Episode 5

Theo And The Older Woman (Season 2, Episode 5)
    Theo and Peter should start some sort of Ladiesmen Club.

In the kitchen Cliff is fixing himself some coffee. He is wearing his pajamas. It is apparently early in the morning and he is ready to settle in and relax.

In comes Denise and she gets all mad at Cliff, because he is wearing pajamas and she has a friend coming over that wants to study the family for a class project. Denise, who are you to criticize anything anybody wears ever? Instead of arguing with her, Cliff just agrees to put on some actual clothes.

Theo trounces through the kitchen and grabs an apple and tries to leave, but Denise gets all "You need to stay for my friend and our project!" Theo is clearly not into this idea. It is Saturday and he doesn't feel like he should have to participate in any sort of school work, but Cliff feels that if he has to do it, Theo should have to do it too. Theo promises to stay, but only for an hour.

The doorbell rings and Denise goes to answer it. In walks the most beautiful girl in the world. Theo's eyes almost pop right out of his head. It looks like he may be staying longer than that hour.

Next, we see Denise's friend, who's name is Suzanne, interviewing Rudy and Vanessa about what it is like to live in a large family. Rudy is being adorable and Vanessa wants her own phone.  They are bickering about cereal and sharing a room and Theo comes in with some beverages. He seems very excited to talk to Denise and Suzanne. Denise tells him that they'll be with him fifteen minutes later.

Fifteen minutes later, Denise and Suzanne come to Theo's room. Theo has cleaned and is wearing a tie. They are knocking on the door and asking him to let them in. He pumps some irons first to try to get some bigger muscles.

After he has his room prepared, Denise and her friend come in. Suzanne's first question should be "What's the deal with the two beds?" But she is sidetracked when Theo starts talking about how much he loves sociology. Then she starts asking about being the only male in the household. Theo has obviously Googled some prepared answers to these questions, because he is being all smooth and interesting.

Denise catches on to his game and pulls him aside and tells him to stop hitting on Suzanne. She tells Theo that he is ugly and immature and no woman could possibly ever be interested in him.

Next, we see Claire gardening and Cliff just bugging the total heck out of her. She is as into gardening as she is into overalls. She's trying to concentrate, but he keeps cracking jokes and asking questions.

Before she can get too fed up, Denise comes and tells them about how Theo is macking up on Suzanne. He must actually be doing an OK job at it, because she expresses a concern that Theo and Suzanne will get married!

Cliff explains to Claire that Theo obviously has good taste and moves to match, but he is only fifteen and probably will not marry Suzanne, because he doesn't have as many moves as Cliff does. Claire just goes off about how lame Cliff was when he was fifteen and then threatens to choke him in his sleep.

Later in the day, Theo is talking on the telephone to one of his friends about how hunky Suzanne is. We only get to briefly get a glimpse in on Theo's fascinating personal life before we cut to Cliff, Claire, Denise and Suzanne all talking in the living room. They are quickly interrupted by Theo marching around with his shirt off and trying to impress the ladies. He has obviously been taking lessons from Peter.

Suzanne is looking like she's all impressed, but there is a ringing at the doorbell. Theo answers the door and in walks the toughest and meanest guy in the world. It's Suzanne's boyfriend. He is way awesomer than Theo too and Theo gets sad.

Later that day, Theo is pouting by holding a basketball over his head and stomping around in Claire's garden. Cliff tries to cheer him up by offering to make a "bacon burger dog." That sounds delicious, but Theo is too upset about being made a fool of. Cliff can't even believe that Theo doesn't want one of these things and tells him to go to the library, because he is sick of seeing his face.

Later on, Theo comes home from the library with a girl he met there. Cliff gets all excited about the girl and they finally decide that they are going to eat these bacon burger dogs.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Remember that time when Denise and Suzanne were knocking on Theo's door and Theo started lifting some weights before letting them in? What was the deal with that? Was he hoping the he could grow his biceps that little extra bit to push him over the edge to total hunk?

Another weird thing that Theo did start talking about his own facial hair in front of Suzanne. It might not seem weird right now, but it is the beginning of a weird fascination Theo is about to have with his own facial hair.

SWEATER SIGHTING

The sweater drought continues. But we did have this:

Claire is as fed up as her outfit is ridiculous.
Well, that hat and those overalls are pretty good, but I sure was in the mood for a Cosby Sweater. I think the tomorrow we probably won't have one either, but it is a Halloween episode, so we might at least have some pretty hilarious outfits.

WRAP UP

That bacon burger dog did sound rather delicious. I wonder what such a thing would entail. Whatever it is, I'll eat it. Also, when Cliff suggests to Theo that they make Theo's new girlfriend a bacon burger dog, Theo suggests to Cliff that they just start her off slow with a burger dog. Why the heck would you  take out the bacon? Why would you take bacon out of anything?

You may have noticed that I'm still calling Clair "Claire." You know what, Internet, I've decided to do so. Because otherwise it is just weird. Also, when people are searching for Cosby episodes on Google, they are always typing "Claire."


Wednesday, a scary Halloween episode.