Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Season 3, Episode 8

Vanessa's Rich (Season 3, Episode 8)
     A strategically placed giant Teddy Bear will work wonders.

This episode begins with Rudy teaching Theo how to play checkers in the living room. Theo is obviously not grasping the rules of the game and Rudy is getting a little frustrated with him. 

Before she gets a chance to just haul of and punch him with here cute little fists, Vanessa busts in on them. She is carrying a plate of appetizers and is trying to rush them out of the living room. She has two people coming over. A territorial conflict is starting to brew. All three of them start yelling at the other two of them about who gets to play checkers in the living room or who gets to have guests over. 

Cliff comes in dressed like a weird mad scientist for some reason, and asks what the problem is. Vanessa explains that she needs the living room, because the two girls that are coming over are on the pep squad and they are all going to write cheers together.



"You have disturbed my work in my laboratory!"
Cliff automatically sides with Vanessa and kicks Theo and Rudy out of the living room, but he just can't take a hint and decides to have himself a sit down himself. He digs right in on the appetizers and everything. Vanessa tries to get him to leave, but he insists on helping her and her new friends with the rhymes for the pep squad. He just goes on and on with cockamamie rhymes about money and shirts and all sorts of stuff. Vanessa is unimpressed.


After what seem like 10 boring minutes of just watching Cliff strain for rhymes and bumble around, the doorbell rings. He goes to answer it and in walk the two most judgmental girls in the world. They walk into the living room and Cliff starts dancing around them and singing songs that he makes up at the top of his head.


Finally, he looses steam and decides to leave. Vanessa is stuck there with her new friends. She is mortified.


Luckily, her friends just move on from this bizarre scenario and start snooping around the house for things to steal. They notice Clair's painting and then Vanessa offers to take them on a tour of the rest of the house. She remarks that she can't show them Theo's room, though, because the two beds will more than likely weird them out.


We transition to later on. In the living room, Clair is reading the newspaper and Cliff is jostling the couch around to bug her. He explains that he looking for the television remote control. He finally finds it and starts watching a show about percussion instruments. The show that he is watching has some guy in a gravely, Columbo voice. He introduces each kind of drum and then hits the drum. It is very boring, but Cliff is way into it.


Clair gets so fed up with just hearing this Columbo voiced man bang on drums and solve murders that she snatches the remote control from Cliff and breaks it! 


Cliff says that that is OBKB, because he will just go to the appliance store and get a new one. Clair doesn't think this is a good idea, because every time that he goes there, he ends up buying all sorts of things that he doesn't need. Cliff just gets up right then and walks out to go buy some electronics. He insists that he is only buying a remote control. Clair is too smart for that and calls the place that he is going and tells them they are only allowed to sell him a remote control.


We move on to the kitchen. Theo and Rudy are locked in an epic battle of wits on the battlefield that is known as a Checker board. Rudy is wiping the floor with this feeble minded man. She just keeps yelling "King me! King me! King me!" at Theo until Vanessa comes in to see what is going on.


Theo tries to get Vanessa to play checkers, but Vanessa can't because her friends are coming over again. Theo is at his wits end. He doesn't want to play Checkers with Rudy, but it is his duty to make sure she has somebody to play it with. As long as he cannot find a stand in for himself, he is stuck playing.


They are briefly interrupted, however, by Clair calling Theo into the living room. Theo assures Rudy that he will be right back and goes in to find his mother with a very large Teddy Bear and a note.

The note is not related to the bear. What is the deal with that bear?
Cliff comes into the living room with his new remote control. Theo had just finished telling Clair about how he talked to the guy at the appliance shop and Cliff was causing a scene, because he couldn't buy anything. That is why they were not believing Cliff when he was saying that he didn't want to buy anything. He does say that he went to a different store and bought a lot of stuff, though.


What is the deal with that bear?


Later in the day, Theo is pretending to do homework on the couch, but he obviously doesn't understand a word of it. Vanessa comes home from school and says she had a bad day. She looks like she was in a fight.


Vanessa gets sleepy after a long day of fighting.
She explains that she was, indeed, in a fight. She fought two girls from the pep squad, because they called her a name. The name that they called her was "Rich Girl." This is not a surprise, because, you know, The Huxtable family has a lot of money.


Theo is explaining how he likes to be rich, when Rudy comes in and demands a partner to play Checkers with. Theo is still unable to find a different partner, so the duty yet again falls on him.


Vanessa goes down to the kitchen to find her parents putting away groceries. She explains that she was in a fight, because she got called a "Rich Girl." Everybody was teasing her because she had so much money and she thinks she is so much better than everybody else.


Cliff is very interested in this fight. He wants to know if Vanessa was winning the fight. He is way into the idea of his daughter fighting. What is he? Muhammad Ali?


Clair tries to explain to Cliff and Vanessa that they are not rich. She feels that to be rich, your money has to work for you, not you working for the money. She says that they work hard for the money. So hard for the money. So you better treat her right.


Vanessa says that when she has children, she's not going to have so much money. This will prevent these types of problems. Is this foreshadowing?


That night, we see Theo trick his father into playing Checkers with Rudy. Theo wants to watch, though, because he will take pleasure in seeing his father lose. Cliff is very confident that he will win this game, but he soon learns differently.


WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Cliff acts extra bizarre in this episode. His dancing around an embarrassing Vanessa in front of her friend is very odd. Also, his reaction to Vanessa being in a fight is very weird.

Also, what the heck was the deal with that GIGANTIC TEDDY BEAR in the living room? There was no explanation for it at all. Nobody even talked about it. It was just there. If a Teddy Bear like that was in my living room, it'd be, like, all my family talked about ever. It seems like the equivalent of having a gun in a play that never goes off. Nothing happens with this bear. SO WEIRD.


SWEATER SIGHTING

I am sad to report that our streak is over. No Cosby Sweater. Seven episodes in a row is pretty good, though. And we did have eight sweaters during that time. Maybe the average for the season will still one sweater and episode. Let's hope so. 


Still, I am very saddened and disappointed by this development. Not even Cliff's awesome suspenders can make up for it.


"Do these suspenders make up for me not wearing a sweater?"
WRAP UP

Rudy's cries of "King me!" are something that I still imitate when I play Checkers. Which is all of the time. I think that this season is finally starting to solidify. It took a few episodes for them to get used to not having Denise around, but they, obviously, are finding their groove without her.


Friday: Oh, wait. Denise is back.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Season 3, Episode 7

Theo's Flight (Season 3, Episode 7)
     Some idiot actually puts Theo in control of an airplane.

Cliff is sitting in the living room flipping through a book of pictures and trying to reminice about a time back yonder when he had complete brain function. His brain is so adle these days that even the act of trying to remember a time when it wasn't is hard. He is mercifully distractted from this task when Cockroach and Theo come into the front door and start telling him about a crotchety speaker that they had in history class. Some old, almost dead, old man came in and told them some exciting stories about how he was a pilot in World War II. It got Theo and Cockroach all jazzed up! They are way into flying now.

Cliff sort of laughs at this, but he very reasonably says that when they graduate high school, they can apply to the Air Force Academy or the Navel Academy and follow their exact dream.

Theo isn't satisfied. He knows that there is no way that he'll get into either of those Academies. The admissions standards for these institutions is through the roof and there is no way that Theo, who will barely (if at all) graduate high school, can meet them. Instead, Theo wants to take flying lessons now.

Cliff is being very cool about this. He doesn't shoot down the idea and says that they will run it by Clair first. Theo thinks this is reasonable and he and Cockroach go off to plot their tactics on Clair. I get the impression the Cliff just wants to see Clair shoot them down, because he thinks it will be fun to watch.

We transition to later in the day. Cliff walks into the kitchen to discover Theo and Cockroach using those amazing red pots to cook Clair some spaghetti sauce.

"I know! I can't believe how awesome these red pots are either!"
Cliff starts mocking their obvious attempt to win Clair's favor with food, but Rudy comes in and has something she wants to talk about. She has a boyfriend and she wants to bring him over to meet Cliff. Cliff says this is OBKB and asks what the boy's name is. His name is Bud. I'm going to be calling him "Not Peter" for awhile, just to warn you.

Clair calls from the living room for Cliff to come to her. He does and Cockroach and Theo follow. They discover Clair in a pretty bad mood. She broke a heel on the sidewalk.

Cockroach and Theo start trying to give her food, but she just totally calls them out on wanting something from her. So, Theo just comes right out with it and asks. Him and Cockroach have a spiel about the Wright Brothers and stuff.

Clair says that it is obvious that they are serious about this, so Theo can take a flying lesson. After him and Cockroach bust out all happy, Clair explains that they should encourage Theo's interest, if it is sincere, and a flying lesson will be fine.

My prediction is that once Theo realizes how much classroom work and studying he has to do, he'll drop flying lessons like a kangaroo holding a hot loaf of bread.

We transition to the next day. Cliff is finishing up a telephone call. He hangs up the phone and, almost as though on cue, Rudy comes in from school. She brought some boy with her that isn't Peter. He's wearing a pretty cool sweater, though, so I guess I'll give him a chance.


Here we see that Bud has good taste in sweaters and good taste in girls, so I am giving him a chance.
Cliff asks them if they would like some snacks, but the do not. They go to the backyard to play.

Cockroach and Theo come home from their flying lesson. They had a lot of fun. Theo wants to go back. Cliff, concerned about the cost of these lessons ($50/hr), reminds Theo about all of the other things that he wanted to do, but quit. Then he tells Theo about the cost of an airplane and the cost of flying it and the cost of getting a license ($7000).

Theo says that he will get a job to pay for lessons and a license. Cliff, wanting to encourage Theo's interests, says that he will pay for half of Theo's expenses. Theo and Cockroach go off happy.

Cliff goes into the kitchen to find Clair watching Rudy and Bud playing. Rudy just keeps bossing Bud around. It concerns the parents and they call her in to talk to her about her bossiness and adorableness.

Clair pulls Rudy into the living room to talk and Bud stays with Cliff in the kitchen. In the living room, Clair explains that it is not very nice to boss around Bud.

In the kitchen, Cliff and Bud are talking. Bud reveals that his name isn't Bud, it is Kenny. Bud is a nickname that Rudy has given him. Bud likes to be called Kenny better. Cliff tells Bud to stand up for himself.

Theo and Cockroach are in Theo's weird, two bedded room. They realize that all of the working that they will have to do to in order to pay for flying won't leave them any free time at all and start to rethink their idea of taking flying lessons. They come downstairs and tell Cliff and Clair that they aren't going to fly anymore. We're all surprised.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS  EPISODE


Theo is trying to figure out how to use a calculator, but some of the buttons are confusing him. Somebody please explain to him what the "4" button does.

Is that a wedding band that Theo is wearing? I know that Cliff and Clair have been trying to marry their children off young, but that's ridiculous. I'm surprised they didn't mention the idea of Rudy and Bud getting married.

SWEATER SIGHTING

Cliff is looking out the backdoor, waiting for the sweater delivery man.
This is just getting ridiculous. Are we ever going to not have a Cosby Sweater ever again? I hope not.

Sweater Count:28

WRAP UP

Peter's not completely done with yet, but Not Peter has begun his tyrannical hold on Rudy. I'm still reserving judgement, though. Maybe I'll end up think this kid is awesome. Probably not, though.

Wednesday: Vanessa is so rich that her friends don't like her.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Season 3, Episode 6

The March (Season 3, Episode 6)
     An episode about Civil Rights? What are you doing to me here, The Cosby Show?

Cliff is in the kitchen singing and dancing around like a weirdo. Rudy is sitting at the kitchen table looking unhappily at the breakfast that he has prepared for her: a cereal bowl with only milk in it, three cantaloupe rinds, and a small glass of orange juice. She is very obviously displeased with this.

Cliff dances his way over to the refrigerator to get himself some orange juice but discovers that he has given the last of it to Rudy! So he goes over and just fudging takes it right away from her.

Theo comes into the kitchen and tells his father that he is going to have a good weekend, because he doesn't have any studying to do or papers to write. Good job, Theo. Even I know Cliff well enough by now to know that he's going to try to make you do all sorts of chores when he hears this. And I don't even live with him!

Theo tries to get out of all of the chores by explaining that he really needs to relax. He just wants to go to the pep rally tonight, the game tomorrow, and the party at Maxine's. Cliff says this is OBKB, but he has to have dinner at the house tonight, because all of the grandparents are coming.

Later in the day, Cliff is tidying up the living room while the children are coming home from school. Vanessa comes in and says she has to talk to Clair about a problem, but Cliff insists she talks to him so that he can give weird answers before she finally goes to Clair for an actual discussion.

Vanessa explains that at school there is a turn around dance. A turn around dance, for those of you that are losers and don't know, is a dance where the girls ask the boys. Vanessa's problem is that she wants to ask a boy that she isn't sure will say 'yes.' There is also a boy that would probably says 'yes,' but she doesn't really want to go with him.

Cliff just starts talking about Vanessa's old boyfriend, Robert, and all of the ladies he has been with since breaking up with Vanessa. Vanessa wants to go to the dance with a guy named David Butler.

Cliff totally balks on making any 'first Governor of Nebraska' jokes about how the name of the first Governor of Nebraska was David Butler and decides to focus on Vanessa's problem, but don't worry: the rest of this entry will contain an abundance of Cornhusker jokes.

David Butler was the first Governor of Nebraska. He is famous for moving the capital to Lincoln and for being impeached because of misuse of funds. David Butler is also the name of Vanessa's new boyfriend. So, you see, this is hilarious.
Cliff basically just tells a story about how one time a girl did ask a boy to a turn around dance. He expects this to make Vanessa feel better. Good job, Cliff. I mean, it went down basically exactly like this:

VANESSA: Dad, there is a turn around dance and I am scared to ask a boy that I like.

CLIFF: You know, let me tell you a story. One time there was a turn around dance and a girl asked a boy and everything worked out OBKB!

VANESSA: Thanks, dad! I feel so much better!

Really? Next time my daughter comes to me with one of her little insignificant problems, I am going to try this tactic on her:

"Daddy, I'm hungry."
"You know, kid, one time there was this little girl that was hungry and everything worked out OK!"

It seems cheaper than food.

Anyway...after Vanessa goes off to call David and see if he can take some time out of misusing Nebraska State funds to come to this dance, Cliff goes into the kitchen and tells Clair that he told Vanessa about how Clair asked him to a dance once.

Clair, who is obviously preparing for a battle with Batman or something, remembers it differently. Apparently Cliff begged Clair's mother to make Clair ask him.

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
Cliff disputes this claim, but Clair reminds him that her mother will be over for dinner that very night and they can just ask her. Cliff sticks to his guns and says that Clair will be very humiliated. I think we all know that Clair's mom is going to confirm Clair's story and Cliff will be the one that is humiliated.

Now in comes Theo. His spirits are lowered, because he got a very bad grade on a paper. You'd think he'd be used to that by now.

The teacher told him that he can rewrite the paper, but it has to be in on Monday. I don't know why he is going to even bother trying, but he is. It means that he will have to miss the pep rally, but will hopefully be able to still go to the football game and Maxine's party.

Later that night, dinner is wrapping up and the family is gathering in the living room for coffee and conversation. All four grandparents are there. Theo asks to be excused so he can go work on his rewrite. One of the grandparents asks what the paper was about. Theo tells them it is about The March on Washington.

 Theo learns that Cliff, Clair, and all four grandparents were at the March and they are confused as to why he didn't come to them. Theo explains that it is because he went to the library.

All of the grandparents demand to hear the paper, so Theo goes off to get it to show them how good it really is. While he is gone, Cliff brings up the subject of the turn around dance that Clair asked Cliff to. Clair's Mom, of course, confirms Clair's version of the story and Cliff is very humiliated.

They all make fun of Cliff a little and then Theo comes in with his paper and reads it to the six people who were actually there. This is what we hear from Theo's paper:

THE MARCH
by Theodore Huxtable

On August 28th, 1963, there was a Civil Rights March on Washington, D.C. 250,000 people were there. Many people gave speeches. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave a famous speech,  "I Have A Dream." It was an important day for America.


There were many celebrities at the March. Sidney Poiter, Charlton Heston, Paul Newman, Leena Horne, Joan Baez, Jackie Robinson, Harry Belefonte, Burt Lancaster...

At this point, we cut out and move over to the kitchen, where Vanessa is calling up David Butler to see if he can go to the dance, or if he is too busy moving Nebraska's capital to Lincoln. Rudy is there for support. David agrees to go to the dance and Vanessa and Rudy are very pleased. Then we move back to the living room to hear the conclusion of Theo's paper:
And at the conclusion of the day, the 10 leaders of The March met with President John F. Kennedy for 75 minutes. And thus ended an important day that we should all remember. The end.
Clair and Cliff start first. They want to know where Theo got his information. Theo explains that he went to the library and looked in onlyvone book: The Pocket Guide To American History. This book only had one page on the topic.

Clair suggests that perhaps Theo could have done a better job talking about The March and not just summarizing the events and saying it was important.

This, Theo, is where it would have come in handy talking to the SIX PEOPLE YOU KNOW that were actually there. They could have given you some insight on the event and what it meant to the people that participated and what it meant to the country as a whole. 

They all start to talk about their experience that day. They start out with the bus ride. They explain that it was a very hot day and they were lucky to have an air conditioned bus. As the buses were driving in, everybody was singing.

Getting off of the bus, the mood was very jovial and friendly. Everybody was happy and waving to each other as if they were all old friends. People of all races, and religions, from all over the country were talking and laughing.

Cliff explains that he kept trading buttons with people and, at different points of the day, was wearing buttons that said things like: "Kiss me, I'm Irish." or "Kiss me, I'm Jewish."

The overall message that the six of them portrayed was that it was a peaceful, fun day, filled with reverence and they were happy to be heard. They really want Theo to get a sense of the people that were there and the over all peaceful feeling of the day. Then Cliff directs Theo to a box of suverneirs and newspaper clipplings from the day. Theo! There was a box of information in your very house! Did you not know that your parents attended this event?

The episode ends with Claire's father singing, "His Truth Is Marching On." It is very touching.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

-I joke a lot, but when it comes down to it: I can't believe that Cliff just took a glass of orange juice away from his daughter like that! It was actually kind of mean!

 -I understand the Cliff and Clair have known each other since they were children and that they basically started dating as young teenagers, but it is still weird to me that when they talk to their children about dating somebody they always imply that this is the person that they might marry. That's a lot of pressure to put on a 13 year old. It's way too young to be talking about meeting the man you are going to marry or for her to even consider finding a mate. Just let her go to a dance!

-Did JFK really only meet with the leaders of The March for 75 minutes? SEVENTY FIVE minutes? That seems like a very short amount of time. It seems like a meeting that could and should have lasted several hours.

SWEATER SIGHTING

"Would this be a good way to kiss?"
YES. The streak continues! This is wonderful! I've been kind of down on Season 3 so far, but it seems to be the season where the sweater really start becoming more prominent. So that's something.

Sweater Count: 27

WRAP UP

It's nice to see all of the grandparents together. I had previously remarked on how little of Claire's parents we see.

Last season, there was an episode in which they showed Martin Luther King's 'I Have A Dream' speech. At the time, it struck me as odd that it was just shoehorned into an episode the way that it was. This episode did a much better job integrating it into an actual plot of an episode. This was a very good episode and the final scene where they all discuss their experience of The March is the best scene of the season so far, and probably one of the best of the series so far.

Monday: Theo wants to take flying lessons.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Season 3, Episode 5

Mother, May I? (Season 3, Episode 5)
     Vanessa starts to get a little more awesome.

In the living room of the Huxtable household Cliff is laying on the couch. Standing over him, doing something we can't quite see, is Rudy. After what seems like 10 boring minutes of just watching Rudy busy at work like a mad scientist only days away from completing her newest disaster contraption, Clair comes in. Rudy greets her mother with a not-very-convincing, but yes-very-adorable "I didn't do it," and Clair discovers just what has been going on here:

Cliff is left to nap undisturbed by the children only so they can play hilarious frat-style pranks on him.

Clair immediately calls Rudy out on having, in fact, done it. Rudy admits it and explains that she wanted to see if her father could look like a woman. He can not.

Clair is very amused by Cliff's appearance and wakes him up. He has no idea what is going on until she tells him to go to the mirror and look. He does and is not as amused as Clair is, but is pretty cool about it. It's a harmless happening and he obviously isn't pleased, but doesn't see any reason to blow his top or make Rudy feel bad. He's missing out on a chance to have some fun, if you ask me.

Clair asks where Rudy got this makeup anyway and Rudy says she found it in Vanessa's room. Clair is concerned by this and goes upstairs to have a talk with Vanessa to nip this crud in the bud.

Vanessa is in her room listening to her iPod and doing homework. There is a knock on the door and it is, of course, Clair. She asks Vanessa about the makeup and explains that Vanessa is not allowed to wear makeup until the age of 15. Vanessa is 13 and is very upset by this rule. All of her friends wear makeup. Clair doesn't care how many of Vanessa's friends wear makeup or how many of Vanessa's friends' parents allow it. She is sticking to her guns and Vanessa is not to wear makeup. Clair should consider making an exception for this child, since she is so ugly without it.

Later that night, Clair is cooking up some stuff in the red pots and Cliff comes into the kitchen to see what is going on. Clair is cooking fish and Cliff thinks that it could use some gross sauce to go with it. He starts mixing up weird and gross concoctions.

While he is making the gross sauce that Clair will never allow on her fish, he asks about the discussion with Vanessa. This turns into them just talking about how they acted just like that at her age. Clair tells a story about how, at the age, of 16 Cliff would pencil mustaches into his face. Oh! Just like Theo does!

Rudy comes downstairs and asks Cliff for a lemon to eat. Her parents are kind of confused, but give her one and she gobbles it right down and says, "Mmmmm! Refreshing!" and busts out of the kitchen like a badass.

Then in comes Theo. He is asking for the fire extinguishers. The immediate concern would be that he has done something ridiculous and dimwitted and has started a fire, but he is just doing an assignment for school about fire safety in the home. He needs to mark down where all of his home's smoke detectors and fire extinguishers are. Cliff has no clue where the extinguishers are. Theo chastises him for this and starts drilling his parents with fire trivia questions. Cliff fails miserably, but Clair does pretty good at it.

Theo suggests that the family has a surprise fire drill at some point. This isn't part of his assignment, he just want to scare and surprise everybody and this sounds like fun to him. Clair gives this plan the go ahead.

The following day, at school, Vanessa is talking to a friend about how she can't wear any makeup. Her friend thinks this is horrible. The Earthy look is not in.


One of Vanessa's peers.

Vanessa somehow is talked by her peers into putting on some makeup at school. I have a feeling that this will not end well.

Later in the day, Theo is sitting at the kitchen table. He is vacuuming out the smoke detectors, a task that he mentioned earlier should be done every three months. This guy is so into fire safety these days, it is ridiculous. Give him one little school assignment and it becomes his obsession for, like, an entire episode.

In comes Denise. I thought that she was at Hillman? Oh, wait! That's Vanessa! She's just wearing weird makeup!

Look at her right eye. It has makeup around it.

Theo asks her about it and she is distraught. She thought she had removed all of the makeup before she got home and rushes to get it off before her mother sees. But before she can make it to the stairs, Theo informs her that their mother is up there, so Vanessa shouldn't go up there unless she wants to be seen like this by her mother. Vanessa begs and pleads with Theo to go upstairs and get come cold cream to remove this makeup.

Theo goes upstairs to do so and Vanessa goes into the living room only to discover her mother! She bolts out of there like an ostrich, rips through the kitchen, and heads up the stairs, but is called back down by Clair. Luckily, Vanessa had a pair of sunglasses and slides them on to hide her eyes, but Clair just tells her to take them off.

Vanessa goes into a long rant about how sorry she is and how she was pressured by her peers to wear make up, but Clair cuts her off and sends her to her room. Clair needs some cooling off and starts counting backwards from 100.

Cliff comes into the kitchen to find this going on and asks what the deal is. After he hears all about it, he tries to make Clair feel better by says that at least Rudy is the last prepubescent girl that is going to live with them. I wish that were true.

In Vanessa's room, she is sitting there looking scared. Theo and Rudy come in to try to reassure her and/or look adorable, but they don't get much of a chance, because Clair and Cliff come in next and send them out. Then they rip Vanessa a new one and ground her for a year.

Later that night, Clair and Cliff are preparing for bed. They briefly discuss the grounding and how miserable it is for the parents as well as the children and then Cliff goes to the bathroom.

Just as soon as that bathroom door closes, Theo starts yelling "Fire Drill!" at the top of his lungs and starts telling everybody they have to go stand outside. Cliff refuses to leave the bathroom, so Theo leaves him for dead and the rest of the family goes out and stands on the stoop.

After standing there for not even a second, Theo says that is it good enough and they can go back inside. But, oh wait, the door is locked and they can't get back in. And Theo didn't bring his key, because he is stupid. The family goes around to check the other doors and windows, and as soon as they aren't by the front door anymore, Cliff, their only hope, comes outside to complete the fire drill. With nobody around to tell him better, he closes the front door behind him and the entire family is locked outside with nobody to let them in.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Rudy eating a lemon was kind of weird, right?

Also, that was a weird fire drill. Basically, Theo made everybody go outside and stand there for 5 seconds before going back inside. There weren't any discussions about exit strategy, there wasn't any discussion of where outside the house the family is supposed to meet, nothing. Theo literally just said "fire drill," they went outside, stood on the stoop (a place you would not stay in case your house was on fire), stood there for no time at all, and then he said: "Fire drill over!" Good job, Theo. I'm sure everybody learned something.

SWEATER SIGHTING



YES! This boring, grey sweater continues our streak of episodes containing a Cosby Sweater! So far, starting at the beginning of this season, we have had at least one sweater an episode! That's five episodes in a row with six total sweaters. As I was watching this episode, I got a little scared that we wouldn't have a sweater, but it popped up in the end.

Sweater Count: 26

Also, this isn't a sweater, but this is a great outfit by Rudy:

Rudy barges in like a fashion show.

WRAP UP

The best episode of the season so far! I'm considering making those red pots in the kitchen one of my new Cosby obsessions. They are all over the place and have seeped into my consciousness.

Friday: A very special episode of The Blogsby Show.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Season 3, Episode 4

Man Talk (Season 3, Episode 4)
     Does everybody know what time it is?

We open on up in the High School. Theo is talking with his girlfriend, Tonya, who we may all remember from the episode where he gave her a diamonoid ring. Theo is asking Tonya what she got for certain questions on the test. For the particular question that he is asking about, she says she answered "Ferdinand Magellan." This pleases Theo a great deal, because that is what he put too! He says that if he got one more right, he "aced the test." It should be noted that acing the test, by Theo's standards, is getting two right. By anybody else's standards, that means that he failed miserably.

As they are standing around and talking about all of the boring answers to the boring history test, some other pretty girl walks by and catches Theo's eye. Tonya has to go to band practice like a nerd, so she leaves. Theo goes to his locker and finds a note from the very same girl that has just caught his eye!


I think I have the same yellow shirt that that guy is wearing.
Back at the house, Cliff goes into the kitchen and heads right to the refrigerator. He is going to obviously make one of those sandwiches, but he is stopped by Theo, who comes downstairs and wants to talk with his father.

Theo explains that things are going really well with Tonya, but this girl (named Randi Taylor) is also after him. Randi Taylor is very pretty and popular and all the boys are after her.

Cliff totally balks on making any Home Improvement jokes about how the name of one of the characters from Home Improvement is Randy Taylor (played by Johnathon Taylor Thomas. Maybe you've heard of him.) and decides to focus on Theo's problem, but don't worry: the rest of this entry will contain an abundance of JTT jokes.

Played by Johnathon Taylor Thomas, Randy Taylor is a character from the popular 1990s sitcom 'Home Improvement' starring Tim Allen. Randi Taylor is the name of Theo's new girlfriend. So, you see, this is hilarious.
Theo shows Cliff the note and we finally get to see the tantalizing things that Randi with an "I" wrote him. The note says: "Hi, Theo. -Randi."

Theo decides that he doesn't want Randi to feel rejected, so he thinks he should take Randi out at least once. He wants Cliff to agree, but Cliff refuses to give any advice one way or another. He feels this is something that Theo must deal with himself.

Later in the day, Theo is sitting in his weird bedroom with the inexplicable two beds. Cockroach and some weird guy we've never seen before come in and start talking about college, but Theo quickly turns the conversation to Randi Taylor. He asks them if they know her and neither of them go: "You mean that kid from Home Improvement?" Instead, Cockroach declares her to be a "Burger Supreme."

Theo shows them the note and they are not surprised. The weird new guy tells Theo that he has heard girls talk about him. They say that Theo is a good looking guy, but he doesn't know it. Cockroach confirms.

Cockroach and the weird new guy (not played by Adam Sandler).
There is a little more discussion about how you should act around girls. Just being yourself is suggested. Being standoffish is suggested. Pretending you're not as good looking as you are is suggested. Finally Theo doesn't want to think about it anymore and decides they should start studying.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Clair is packing up a box. It turns out to be a care package for Denise, but let's focus on this: Clair asks Cliff to have a tea party with Rudy. Cliff readily agrees. I would have too. If I could have an all day long tea party with Rudy and all of her stuffed animals, I would. Cliff can't come, though.

Cliff goes into the living room to find Rudy. She is just sitting there with her stuffed bear Bobo. The two make plans for a fancy tea party at 4PM. Rudy will wear a dress and Cliff will wear a suit and a tie. This is going to be adorable.

Back up in his bedroom, Theo's second bed is coming in handy, because Cockroach is sprawled out on it. They are back on the subject of Randi. Theo suggests that he could keep Tonya as a steady girlfriend, but only date Randi once in awhile. I don't think so, Tim. BOOM! I totally landed that one!

The weird new guy votes for Tonya. Cockroach votes for Randi, because then he could date Tonya. The idea of Cockroach and Tonya dating is upsetting to Theo.

We're back in the kitchen. Clair has finished taping up Denise's care package. Cliff is sitting there watching and once it is determined that the package is ready to go, he reveals that he stole a bottle of macadamia nuts out of the box and now it is too late for them to go in. That's kind of mean, Cliff. Just go buy your own nuts. You're a doctor, you can afford them. Now you have denied your daughter a food that she likes. Actually, come to think of it, that does sound kind of fun. I'm going to buy a box of raisins and eat them right in front of my daughter and not give her any. Cliff, you're a genius.

Theo comes into the kitchen and talks a little to his parents before the phone rings. It is Tonya and she wants to talk to Theo and she is coming over. Theo tells Clair that things with Tonya aren't going well. Clair gets a little concerned. She tells Theo a story about how when her and Cliff were dating in High School, Cliff also had a thing for Eunice Chantilly. Eunice was a loose woman of low moral standards who was 18 and in the ninth grade. Clair is convinced the Cliff still has a picture of her hidden in the house.

Clair tells Theo that whatever he decides to do, he should be honest with himself and with Tonya.

We transition to the living room. Theo is pacing around. The doorbell rings and he answers it. In walks the most diamonoid rich girl in the world. Theo asks to take Tonya's coat, but she says she is not going to stay very long.

Tonya explains that she knows about the note from Randi and that it seems like he might be interested in Randi. Tonya suggests that they stop seeing each other. She can tell that Theo is into Randi and Tony has also been thinking about going out with some nerd in her band. The two have a heart to heart and things end amicably. So, things worked out.

Cliff comes downstairs. He is all prepared for the tea party. Theo tells him how heartbroken he is about Tonya and this new boy. Cliff takes him into the kitchen for the most adorable tea party of all time.


During the party, the phone rings. Cliff answers and it is some totally other girl that is not Randi Taylor or Tonya. It is some girl names Maxine. Theo gets all excited and goes to answer the phone.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Why is it that so many weird things about this show revolve around Theo?

We saw the two bed again. It's true that now each child in the house is living in their own room with two beds, but the girls both have excuses for the two beds. Each bedroom used to have two girls in it. Theo never shared his room. We'll keep an eye on this.

Also, Cockroach used the term "burgers" again.

SWEATER SIGHTING

"I don't know. I don't even like macadamias. I just didn't want Denise to have them."
Yes! Our streak continues! That is four episodes in a row with a Cosby Sweater! I've never felt so good about it. Remember back in Season 1 when it seemed like we'd never see one? Now they're everywhere!

It has also occurred to me that there is potential of sweaters repeating themselves. Many look so similar that I may not even notice if this happens, but I'm not going to go back and look at all of them, even though I have a suspicion that he may have worn this before I am going to call it:

Sweater Count: 25

WRAP UP

Well, after a rocky start, this season is starting to solidify. The first few episode of Season 3 weren't that great, but this has been the strongest episode yet. Let's see how things progress.

Wednesday: Another episode about Vanessa. Yawn.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Season 3, Episode 3

Golden Anniversary (Season 3, Episode 3)
     This one's not as good as last year's anniversary episode.

We begin this episode with Clair in her bedroom writing diligently into a notebook. Cliff comes in and announces that he has safely tucked all of the children into their beds for nighttime and he hopes that a monster doesn't eat any of them, but if he had to pick one of the children for a monster to eat, it'd be Vanessa. That's who I'd pick too.

Clair just ignores this, because she foolishly doesn't believe in monsters and she tells Cliff that she is getting some good work done in planning Cliff's parent's 50th anniversary. It has also made her start to think about her and Cliff's 25th anniversary, but that isn't for a few years.

We move on to the living room of Cliff's parents. Grandpa brings a cup of coffee to Grandma, who is totally not dead and is just snoozing on the couch. Grandpa nudges her awake and tells her that it is one minute past midnight and therefore it is their 50th anniversary. They kiss. Then they start to reminisce about their wedding night and Grandpa starts to feel sexy.

Before we get to see anything really good, we cut back to Clair and Cliff. Cliff starts to tell Clair how he wants to take her to Paris for their 23rd anniversary. He just keeps rambling and rambling about how they are going to rent every single kind of vehicle in Europe. Trucks, tractors, airplanes, etc. It sounds like it will be very expensive. Clair is way into this idea.

We move on to morning. Rudy and Cliff are looking over a banner that they have hung commemorating Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary. Rudy says that she is going to be married 50 years too. She's going to get married at 23, have one boy and one girl, and marry somebody named Bud. Oh, no! I hope we aren't ushering out the era of Peter and ushering in the era of Bud. I'm not through with thinking Peter is awesome yet.

I'm left to contemplate how eventually everything I love about the Cosby show will change, but I will still have to watch, like, 3 more seasons of it, when Denise totally pulls a Sondra and is home. At least, not yet, she hasn't brought with her anything or anybody that totally ruins The Cosby Show.

Look at that hat. Where's she going to school? Hillman? Or Hogwarts?
It's good to see that she is still dressing in weird clothes. What is that? A wizard hat?

Denise explains that she rode in with Sondra and Elvin and they won't stop fighting. Then she goes to say hello to her mother and in come Sondra and Elvin. Sondra is all mad because Elvin wouldn't let her pump gas. He only allows her to get him sandwiches. For real: Elvin's sexism actually is to the point that he actually tells her to go to the kitchen and make him a sandwich.

Sondra goes off somewhere and Elvin asks Cliff's advice on what to do with this woman. He seems pretty confused about gender roles. Cliff tells him to just go with the flow.

Vanessa comes in from the kitchen (a place I'm sure sexist Elvin thinks she belongs). Vanessa tells Cliff that Clair needs some help opening a jar. Elvin jumps right up and says that he will do it.

In the kitchen, Elvin discovers Clair struggling to open a jar of pickles. He declares opening jars to be a "man's job" and starts trying to open it.

Go, Elvin! Look at how much you're impressing her!
He can't get it open and also Clair seems a little pissed off that Elvin is acting like this. Elvin just strains to try to open this jar and he can't. He uses so much force and energy that it just drops him to his knees.

Sondra comes into the kitchen to find this scene and grabs the jar from him and opens it with little to no effort. Elvin is embarrassed.

We transition to later in the evening. Everybody is all dressed up fancy and awaiting the arrival of Grandma and Grandpa. Elvin comes into the living room with a womanly apron on. He is apparently doing women's work in the kitchen. He promises to not fight with Sondra this evening. Just then Sondra comes downstairs and Elvin tells her how beautiful she looks in this dress.

Elvin is trying to be nice, but Sondra isn't having any of it.
Sondra says that this is the fourth time Elvin has seen her in this dress and it's obvious that he doesn't remember the dress from before. Elvin confirms that he does not remember this dress. Sondra storms off a little pissed off.

After she's gone, Cliff corrects Elvin by telling him that you never tell a woman that you don't remember something. Elvin goes off to the kitchen to do some women's work.

After he's gone, Clair asks Cliff how long she thinks Elvin and Sondra will be together. Cliff correctly answers: "Forever."

The doorbell rings and Cliff goes to answer it. In walk the two happiest married people in the world. They barge in and tell everybody that they spent all night last night getting all sexy. Everybody is very grossed out.

Later that night, dinner is over and Grandma and Grandpa get demanding. Last year, they got a song and this year they are expecting the same. Cliff and Clair try to convince them that they do not have anything prepared, but they aren't having any of it and just sit in a chair and start shouting that they want their song.

Cliff finally reveals that there is a song and they start lip syncing a James Brown song like a bunch of weirdos. It's not as good as last year.

We transition to even later in the night. The family is at some nightclub and they all sit at a table. The guy up on stage announces that it is Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary and they play a song for them to dance to.

The episode ends with everybody dancing. Even Sondra and Elvin.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

That's two anniversaries of Cliff's parents, but we hardly see Clair's parents. Does the family not care as much about Clair's side of the family?

SWEATER SIGHTING

On a scale of one to two, how awesome is your sweater, Cliff?


Cliff models his new sweater.
Whoa! Two Cosby Sweaters in this episode! I am so pleased that we are ahead of my goal of one sweater and episode in Season 3. Those are some pretty good ones to! That second sweater is all shiny and weird. We are entering the golden age of Cosby Sweaters.



Sweater Count: 23 & 24!


WRAP UP

I was not looking forward to this episode, but it turned out to not be so bad to watch. My fear was that it would just be a horrible rehashing of last season's anniversary episode. I mean. They even lip synced! And pretty much it was a rehashing, but it was still not horrible. Last season's was way better, though. People always remember last year's lip sync, but this lip sync? Forgettable.


Monday: Theo has lady problems.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Season 3, Episode 2

Food For Thought (Season 3, Episode 2)
     Cliff makes a sandwich large enough to feed an army

Clair is in the living room putting various types of flowers into various types of vases. I could watch this for hours, but I don't need to, because a still totally cute Rudy comes downstairs to verify with her mother that Denise is, in fact, leaving for Hillman. This is something that I've been unclear on myself.

Clair informs Rudy that this evening they will taking Denise to the airport to go to Hillman and Vanessa will move into Denise's room (which has two beds in it) and Rudy will have her own room (which has two beds in it). Two beds in every room that is occupied by one person and one bed in the room occupied by two people. This family is insane.

Rudy is not so much worried about how weird it will be for her to have two beds in her room, she is more worried that Vanessa won't be there, because a monster would obviously eat her first and Rudy would have time enough to get away. Clair, instead of trying to convince Rudy that there are no monsters, tells her that she can always come sleep with her and Cliff. I'm sure that Cliff would be thrilled to learn of this open invitation. Clair also says that she will put milk and cookies in the room to distract any monsters. Rudy thinks this is a good idea and goes back upstairs happy.

After Rudy leaves, almost as though on cue, Cliff calls Clair into the kitchen. Clair goes in to find Cliff making a sandwich the size of four sandwiches. They start talking about some guy named Bob, whose relation to the Huxtable family remains unclear. Bob had to get an angioplasty because his heart is bad because he doesn't eat right. Clair thinks that because Bob and Cliff are about the same age and Cliff eats about as bad as Bob, that Cliff should consider eating better so that he doesn't die.

This is only a fraction of the amount of the sandwich that this man is preparing to eat.

Cliff tries to convince Clair that he is in perfect health and has the metabolism of an ostrich. For some reason, he thinks ostriches have really good metabolism and that "the metabolism of an ostrich" is a thing, but I'm fairly sure that that is not a thing.

Clair poses a simple challenge to Cliff: go one single day without eating any junk food. Cliff is pretty sure that he can do it and accepts the challenge. He takes that gigantic sandwich and says that instead of eating it, he will give it to Denise: a skinny, teenage girl. I'm sure she'll eat that sandwich right up!

We cut to Denise's bedroom where Sondra and Theo are helping her pack, because she leaves in a couple of hours, so they should probably start packing.

Cliff comes in with that gigantic plate of sandwich. I'm glad there are three people in that room, because maybe, together, they will be able to eat all of the sandwich that Cliff has with him. They could live on the sustenance from this sandwich for months.

Cliff, for some reason, expects Denise to eat the entire sandwich herself, but she passes it around to everybody in the room including Cliff. Cliff takes the sandwich up and is about to eat some, but Clair busts in on him and he is caught before he gets to take a bite. Clair tells the kids about the challenge of him not eating this type of food for one day.

Sondra suggests that they compile a list of all of the foods that Cliff shouldn't eat and then if they see him eat any of the foods, they can call him out on it.

We transition to later in the day and the family has gathered at the table for dinner. They are passing around fried chicken, but Clair and Cliff have to eat boring salad with no dressing. This is torture. What else is torture is having to listen to Sondra rattle on about nutrition.

Theo comes in and tells the whole family about how delicious that dinner was at Cockroach's. I guess Cockroach's mother made some Caribbean dish that was all, like, sausage and ham and bacon and onions and stuff. Theo was way into it and Cliff is obviously so jealous that he drowns his salad in drool.

After dinner, Cliff pulls Theo aside and tells him that he needs to go back to Cockroach's house, get some of this food, and sneak it into Cliff's office, where Cliff will be waiting to eat it, because he can not go a single day without eating this type of food. Theo agrees.

Next, we see Cliff sitting in his office waiting for Theo to arrive. Theo arrives. Cliff is about to dig in to the food, but Clair knocks on the door and calls him out on it, so he doesn't get to eat any of the food.

We transition to the family all carrying trunks and luggage out of the door for Denise so that she can move to Hillman. The whole family leaves except for Clair and Denise. They have a little heart to heart and then they all take Denise to the airport. Goodbye, Denise.

We transition to even later that night. Cliff and Clair are in bed and Cliff is telling Clair how hungry he is. Clair gives him a rice cake. Are rice cakes even still a thing?

There is a knock on the door. It is Rudy. She is adorable. She is scared. Clair invites her to sleep with them. Rudy crawls into bed and remarks that she likes rice cakes, but not as much as all of the heaps of chocolate chips cookies that are in her room. Cliff bolts for those cookies like an ostrich.


WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Plate #1 of 5. Already too much sandwich.
I mean. Come on. That is a cartoonishly large sandwich.

SWEATER SIGHTING


How much sandwich do you think I could eat?
This sweater is almost as boring as the episode itself, but at least it is a Cosby Sweater.

Sweater Count: 23

I have a goal for this season: on Cosby Sweater every episode. So far, so good!


WRAP UP

I mentioned it in the previous episode, but this episode was so boring! I have a feeling that when I talk about my least favorite episodes of the season, this one will be mentioned.

Wednesday: the grandparents have an anniversary. Again.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Season 3, Episode 1

Bring 'em Back Alive (Season 3, Episode 1)
     Theo totally tweets me.

Season 3 starts right off with a boom of two of my favorite things: a Cosby Sweater (we'll get to that later) and Cliff doing his hilarious Julia Child impression. The Julia Child impression is interrupted, but that's OK, because it's Rudy and she wants her red t-shirt. Cliff informs her that it's downstairs in the clothes dryer. 

Good job, Rudy. You're a year older, but you're still cute. Now you have to go fold all of those clothes. Parents. Am I right? Always giving their kids chores. I have a deal with my daughter: she stays out of my hair and I stay out of her's. It's working pretty well, except when I need somebody to bring me a beer out of the fridge.

So, anyway, that's enough about how I'm an awesome parent. Rudy goes off to fold the clothes and, almost as though on cue, Theo and Cockroach come in talking about some party Cockroach's parents are letting him throw that will probably be lame. Cockroach explains that only "high voltage" women are going to be allowed at this party. They have to be at least a "500-watt bulb" to get inside the door. I guess I didn't realize that kids these days were still comparing pretty girls to light bulbs. Also, I'm not sure that Cockroach and Theo understand how things work with pretty, popular girls. They don't give a fudge if they can go to your party or not, Cockroach.

Cliff's concern about this party is that Theo's girlfriend is going to be mad about a party that is just him and Cockroach and twenty 500-watt bulbs.

This conversations is rudely and abruptly interrupted by the screamings of Rudy from the basement. She bolts the heck into the kitchen and just glombs herself right onto Cliff's leg and yells "Snake! Snake!" It's probably that cobra that escaped from the Bronx Zoo. That's still topical enough to make jokes about, right?

Cliff doesn't quite believe that Mia the Bronx Cobra is in their basement and sends Theo and Cockroach down to the basement to check out what the deal is. In the meantime, Cliff takes Rudy to the living room to try to calm her down and there they find some horrible teenager with a weird hairdo. Oh, wait. That's Vanessa.
It's not exactly The Rachel.
I stand by my previous statement.

Vanessa doesn't believe Rudy and Cliff doesn't believe Rudy and so they get down a facebook of all the snakes in the Bronx Zoo to see if Rudy can identify Mia. I think they are just going to try to make fun of her. Rudy says she hates snakes because they always stick their tongues out and that is gross of them to do.

After they bring Rudy the snake facebook, she immediately identifies Mia. Then Theo and Cockroach come in and confirm Rudy's story: a cobra from the Bronx Zoo escaped, went over to Brooklyn, and is now living in their basement and will probably eventually kill them all and eat their bodies.

Rudy is very scared and wants to kill the snake. Cliff is a little more compassionate than that and says that they will catch Mia alive and return her to the zoo for a reward. Theo is more than willing to help Cliff capture this snake, so they go down to the basement.

In the basement, Cliff and Theo start nosing around looking for this thing and are also playing hilarious practical jokes with each other by doing things like dangling ropes onto their heads and giving them cans of peanuts, but a snake jumps out at you instead.

Things start to get serious, however, when they spot the actual snake and attempt to capture it. Cliff grabs a pillowcase and Theo lifts the dryer up, but the snake is smarter than to just slither into such a trap and instead goes the other way.

After this failed attempt, there is a concern by Cliff that the snake will climb the stairs up to the bedroom to kill all of them, but Theo assures him that snakes don't have legs and can't climb stairs. It's a scientific fact.

Upstairs, Rudy is crushing Cockroach in several games of RPS. There is a ring at the doorbell. Cockroach answers it and in walks: Peter MF whatever his last name is. He doesn't stay long, though, because when he learns that there is a snake in the house, he goes all Indiana Jones and decides that even though he is very tough, he hates snakes.

Later on, Rudy and Cockroach are playing with some trucks. In walks Clair and Denise. Wait a minute. I thought Denise was off at Hillman now? I was certainly under that impression when I wrapped up Season 2. Could I have been wrong? Yes. I was.That's not until next season. That's good, though, because now I have one more season of doing things like this:

It's not exactly The Vanessa.

What is up with her hair?! Are her and Vanessa having some sort of bad hair contest? Because Denise is definitely winning! That is the worst! I am so glad Denise is still here.

Rudy tells them about the snake and Cliff and Theo come confirm the story. Clair keeps her cool in front of the kids and then pulls Cliff into the kitchen to be alone with him so she can break down and freak out. She orders Cliff to find the snake and get rid of it.

Clair is very afraid of snakes and her fear comes from when her and Cliff were 12 years old and Cliff threw a rubber snake at her.

Clair just keeps freaking out and wants to call an exterminator. Cliff says that it is OK and she should calm down. He informs her that snakes can not climb stairs. This is the stupidest thing that Clair has ever heard. How do they get into trees, then? That's a good point.

Meanwhile, up in Theo's room, him and Cockroach are writing invitations for the party at Cockroach's. It is sounding very lame, because it has to be over at 10:30. The two fantasize about being roommates in their own apartment. The apartment would have dimmers on the lights and bearskin rugs and every room would have two beds. Even the bathroom.

Denise interrupts this ridiculous fantasizing by knocking on the door and informing them that dinner is almost ready. Cockroach takes the time to invite Denise to the party. Denise says that she can't go, because she is a pretty and popular girl and doesn't give a fudge about his party. Also, she leaves for college in a week. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So I was right the first time? This has just been a roller coaster of whether or not Denise will be around this season.

Down in the kitchen, Rudy and Cliff and Clair and Denise and Vanessa are all talking about how precious all life is and the hope that the snake doesn't get killed. They just want it out of the house.

Cockroach and Theo come down for some food. Then the exterminator comes upstairs and informs them that he couldn't find the snake. Basements have too much junk in them and snakes love hiding down there.

Later that night, up in their bedroom, Cliff and Clair are talking about the day's events and how that snake is still loose in their house and they will all probably die. This gets Clair feeling all sexy and she comes to the bed for one more session of love making before they meet their demise.

They don't even get that, because Clair spots the snake right away. Cliff immediately forms a plan. Well, to be fair, it's a plan he's had for awhile. It's the old pillowcase plan. He's going to chase the snake into a pillowcase that Clair is holding. And that's exactly how it goes down! Clair is standing on one side of the bed with the pillowcase and Cliff scares the snake right over to it. Clair comes up triumphant and yells out a victory yell.

Denise and Rudy, hearing the commotion, come into the bedroom to see what all the noise is. Rudy asks to see the snake. Cliff goes to get dressed to set it free and the girls talk about how glad they are the snake is caught. Then Denise and Rudy go off to bed and Denise says as an afterthought: "I just hope it didn't have any babies." And the episode ends with Clair being all scared again.


WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Theo and Cockroach are just starting to turn into charactertures of teenage boys. I am happy they that stopped calling pretty girls "burgers." But now we can add to their silly lingo: "dynamic" and "high voltage." I'm still convinced that these are all terms that Malcolm-Jamal Warner fed to the writers as a practical joke.

I tweeted this theory to Malcolm-Jamal Warner himself and he actually responded! Look what he had to say:

This man has never read my blog.

Well, that makes sense, I guess, but did Bill Cosby consider that instead of sounding horribly dated, they would ring incredibly weird? Because I am still going to totally make fun of it. Thanks, MJW for responding and trying to ruin my fun, though.

SWEATER SIGHTING

Also, Theo's shirt is pretty cool. Maybe MJW should stick to tweeting about fashion instead of getting all down on The Blogsby Show.

I wish that we could have gotten a better look at this sweater, but it looks pretty boring, so maybe we don't need one. Either way, its a Cosby Sweater, it's a boring one, it's never not covered with an apron, and it's number 22.

Sweater Count: 22

WRAP UP

I am so not looking forward to having to hear this horrible version of the theme song for the next however many episodes.

Monday: Denise finally goes to Hillman.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Season 2, Episode 25

Denise's Decision (Season 2, Episode 25)
     I can't believe that flip shades were not a factor in this decision.

Well, let's drag out a half an hour of television to eventually learn what we all already know is going to happen: Denise is going to pick Hillman. I mean, come on, how suspenseful are we to believe this to be? There was a whole, separate TV show about it!

The episode begins with Clair sitting in a chair in the living room listening to some lady singing atonally about the human anatomy. After what seems like 10 boring minutes of just listening to the functions of different organs, Cliff finally comes in dressed like a mad scientist for some reason.

Cliff is quite obviously feeling sexy by this music. I guess some of the functions of some of these organs is really doing it for him and he wants to dance around like a weirdo with his wife. He keeps shuffling around by himself until Clair finally throws him a bone and joins in.

The music ends and after a brief conversation about how fascinated Cliff is about how Clair bought a record in a record store, they have a dispute about the date that this record was recorded. Cliff says 1962 and Clair, who might have even already read the sleeve of the jacket of the record, says 1960. They bet on this. The loser has to make dinner tonight, breakfast tomorrow, and wash the winner's car.

Cliff has a few things working against him here. First off, Clair is way smarter than he is. Secondly, he is always having bad things like this happen to him. Third, Clair may have already read the sleeve of the jacket of the record. I think we all know that Clair is in for a couple of gross meals of weird food and a damp car that is still kind of dirty.

They go over to the jacket sleeve to look at the date and Denise busts in before anybody can look.  Clair gives her the jacket to read the date off of. Hey, guess what. Cliff lost the bet.

While Cliff is trying to welsh out on this bet, Denise goes to check the mail. She comes back with an acceptance letter from UC Berkley. She gets all excited for some reason. I don't know why. We all know she is going to go to Hillman.

Denise explains that she has narrowed down her school choices to four schools: NYU, Hillman, The University of North Dakota in Bismark, and the University of Hawaii. I'm pretty sure she means the one in the State of Hawaii because she thinks that she can just lounge around all day. It's going to be a B to make it home every weekend like Sondra, though.

Also, The University of North Dakota in Bismark? Do we really have to specify the Bismark part? Is North Dakota really peppered with so many University of North Dakotas that we might get confused? It's like the University of California system now? I'm pretty sure it's the only school in North Dakota and it's just, like, in the airport or something.

Cliff has questions about this school too. Why North Dakota? She explains that it is because she doesn't know anybody else that would be going there. I'm not sure anybody else would be going there at all. If that is going to be her criteria, she could probably find a different, slightly more exciting school for this. Like any other State school in the Mid-West. ANY OTHER one would be more exciting and she probably wouldn't know anybody there. Why not go to the University of Wisconsin in Madison? I visited that campus and it was very nice and they have, like, actual sports programs and things to do. Or Nebraska! I didn't visit that campus, but I'm sure it's WAY better than North Dakota and you can go to football games and stuff.

This is all moot, anyway, because we all know she is going to Hillman. Clair points out that she just got this letter from Berkley and Denise makes it seem like it just makes her decision harder. I wonder when Grandpa is going to show up to try to convince her.

Later on in the day, Cliff and Clair are cooking dinner together. This is odd, since part of the bet was that Cliff would be preparing dinner.


Clair still wants to make sure her meal isn't gross or poisoned.
They are arguing about jazz music and Clair tells Cliff that in the morning, for breakfast, she wants him to bring her the newspaper between his teeth like a dog.

Theo and Vanessa and Sondra bust into the kitchen. It's nice to see Sondra. She hasn't been around in awhile, which has been too bad for me, because it's fun to make fun of how she's always there if she's not. I guess she's decided to stick around Princeton more.

The three kids wonder to their parents if Denise has made a decision. Theo says it will be much easier for him to decide on a school. He says he's going to go to Berkley. Oh, Theo. That's cute. You think you're going to get into college.

Clair sends Cliff into the living room with some appetizers. She thinks this is a punishment, but it turns out to be super cool for him, because Rudy's in there just sitting by herself, but somehow still being the life of about four parties downtown.

Rudy is a little sad that Denise is going to leave for college. She's going to miss Denise. Cliff is distraught to see Rudy in such a way, so he does the only thing he knows to cheer her up. He shows her her own reflection.

"How can you be sad when you're this adorable?"
Cliff also reminds her that Denise will be home for Thanksgiving and things ("just like Sondra." I guess she'll be home every weekend, then) and they can call her on the phone and all that. Rudy perks up a little bit.

We get some transistiony music and an establishing shot of nighttime. In the living room is Grandma and Grandpa. Look, Grandpa, I know why you're there, but you're waisting your own time: we all already know that she's going to pick Hillman.

Denise tells him she has narrowed her choices down to NYU and Hillman. Grandpa banishes his son and his wife out of the room so that he can be alone with Denise to try to strong arm her into going to Hillman. A blatant waste of his time. Here's his pitch: the teachers at Hillman care.

Really? Really, Grandpa? That's what you're going with? Like the teachers at every other school in the country just don't give a fudge, huh? I bet even at least one teacher at The University of North Dakota still has a kernel of caring buried deep down under their feelings of resentment and spirit crushing life failure.

Later on, dinner is wrapping up and Grandpa is ready to hear Denise's announcement for where she is going to go to school. Oh, yeah, I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but Denise told the family she was going to announce her school after dinner. I guess I could go back and re-read this entry to find out for sure, but I hate reading these things.

Denise drags out her decision and tries to keep us in suspense until finally announcing that she is going to Hillman. The live studio audience all yells in unison: "No Duh!"

Sondra predicts that Denise will be very influential at Hillman and then sarcastically announced that not long after she gets there, "everybody will be dressing weird and changing their hairstyles every other day." WHOA. Sondra just moved up to the top my my list! Move over, Elvin, your woman is mine now.

Just kidding, Dear.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE

Did Clair and Cliff really have to have a whole argument over who was going to read the date off of the record jacket? They seemed like they were genuinely concerned that whoever read the date was going to cheat somehow. Like the other person wasn't going to be allowed to look for themselves ever.

I found Grandpa's pushing for Hillman a little weird and inappropriate. He put a lot of pressure on Denise to go to this school. If she didn't want to go, it was very clear that he was going to be let down big time.

SWEATER SIGHTING

Cliff spent most of the episode in an apron so boring, that I'm not even going to make the effort to screen shot it. It was no "I'm Trying." That's for sure.

WRAP UP

I guess that does it for Denise. She'll be off in a different world now. I'm going to miss her and all of her crazy outfits, but I have a feeling she'll be back with a weird child at some point.

And that concludes Season 2.

Weirdest thing from Season 2: There were so many weird things in this season! There was Denise's weird Raegee boyfriend. There was that weird dentist. But, I think, the weirdest thing was that Stevie Wonder episode. When I was writing the entry for that episode, I briefly considered putting the entire episode recap under "Weird Things That Happened In This Episode."

Favorite episode from Season 2: Again, a tough call. This season was very strong and any number of episodes could fall into this category. But, I believe that in each of their entries, I declared Episode 2 and Episode 3 to be the best episode of any TV show ever.

Least favorite episode from Season 2: Episode 17, I guess. It was pretty boring, but it wasn't terrible.

Friday, we begin Season 3.